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Looking at what you do for a living, using my  journey from being a  single mother at 17. My life and circumstances led me to being evicted from homes, enduring domestic violence to gaining an Honours degree in Psychology. I went on to study a Masters in Counselling psychology and PhD, right up until today where I am living my passion helping others to find and follow their passion regardless of what life has thrown at them.

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Find and follow your passion (A chronological look at finding and following your passion)

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My aim is to share my story  in the hope it will inspire you, to find your purpose in life, make a living from your passion and live the life of your dreams.

Hi my name is Angela, I was born and brought up in England. I have lived in England all my life.                         Thank you for dropping by, I hope you gain something from my Blog.  I am happy to connect with you.

Lets talk about Holistic living – Remember Holistic living isn’t just about food, it’s about your whole being. That’s mind, body and soul.

I believe that everyone can and should live the life of their dreams. Believe it or not it’s possible. Everyone has a purpose in life, your purpose is what you are innately passionate about. Your purpose in life is to use your passion to help others. Some call it Destiny or living their dream. You know you are living your life's purpose  when you can't wait to get out of bed in the morning to get started, you would do what you do for free, you can't believe they pay you for what you do.

I believe that if everyone did what they were passionate about the world of work would be a better place.

To check out Archived Blogs 

This will be a series of talks about living your life holistically – This Blog is about The Soul


This blog has spoken about what you 'Do for a living', from asking you 'how's work really'? to knowing your worth, onto the dreaded workplace bullying. 

The second part of this blog centered on  'YOU' and what 'YOU'  can do for  'YOU' or more importantly, what  'YOU'  haven't done for 'YOU'.

This part of the blog will concentrate on the Soul, the part of you which can be found deep down inside you, speaking to you through how you feel about certain situations and people.

See you on the inside. I will start the SOUL blogs with 'THE LAW OF ATTRACTION'

 The Law of Attraction -The process

(Part One)

12th October 2017

 Our thoughts create things, what you think about, comes about.

7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Matthew 7:7-8King James Version (KJV)

Law – What is Law? It is a system of rules that are created and enforced by the universe.

Attraction – What is attraction? Something you desire, something you are attracted to, this can be physically or emotionally.

Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we focus on.

The Law of Attraction dictates that whatever can be imagined and held in the mind’s eye is achievable if you take action on a plan to get to where you want to be.

We are asked by  to think of the Law of Attraction as gravity. Throw an apple up, it will land on the floor. Whenever you throw a wish out there (intentionally or inadvertently)  it must manifest.

For the benefit of this blog the use of the word Universe is to mean your God, A greater entity, Your higher self or All that there is.

In Part One of The Law of Attraction we will look at: How we came across the Law of Attraction. How the Law of Attraction works and the Steps we take to put the Law of Attraction in Motion.

 How did you first encounter The Law Of Attraction?

 For many in the West, the first encounter may have been through the verses of The Bible ‘Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find’ ‘As a man thinketh so is he’ Matthew 7:7

“Everything is possible for him who believes.” – Mark 9:23

“For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he…” Proverbs 23:7

For others it may have come from inspirational speakers such as Zig Ziglar, Bob Proctor, Jack Cranfied or John Maxwell. More recently you may be aware of celebrities like Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Anthony Robins, Iyanla Vanzant, Eckhart Tolle, Rhonda Byrne’s ‘The Secret’ and of course Oprah Winfrey to name a few.

For me, although I was brought up in Church as a Pastors’ daughter and pretty familiar with the Bible, The Law of Attraction came to me, as many of my breakthroughs, via some a bad workplace scenario.  Thirty years ago I was working in a store, the manager, for some reason always seemed to annoy me, we just didn’t get on. I would complain to my Uncle who said to me, ‘you really can not work for people, you need to work for yourself’ Funny, if I had took that advice, I would not have the stories I share with you in my book ‘What you do for a living’ better yet, I wouldn’t have had to endure the mistreatment or the stresses and strain those jobs caused. 

 Whilst complaining about yet another incident at work, my Uncle gave me a book called ‘The Game Of Life and How to Play it’ Written in 1925 by Florence Scovel Shinn, (September 24, 1871 – October 17, 1940) she was an American artist and book illustrator, who became a New Thought spiritual teacher and metaphysical writer in her middle years.

Shinn expressed her philosophy as: The invisible forces that are ever working for man who is always ‘pulling the strings’ himself, though he does not know it. Owing to the vibratory power of words, whatever man voices, he begins to attract.

 You can find the PDF of the book on my website along with the Audio. This book changed my life, in-fact I have given this book away to so many people in so many different formats as technology advanced. Florence Scovel Shinn has written several books and as I write this blog, I look at my book shelve and notice that I have not got ‘The game of Life and How to Play it’ I had probably given it away. I do however have three ‘The Secret Door to Success’ four ‘Your Word is Your Wand’ and two ‘The Power of the Spoken Word’. Florence Scovel Shinns’ books and teachings can be summed up in an up to date version, you may know as ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne. I felt I had lived my life by the teachings of Florence Scovel Shinn, her writings where in-fact The Law of Attraction, what you ask for, you will receive, what you speak about often has no choice but to manifest. I spent many years wishing for things, making affirmations and expecting things to just appear, no not magically, but perhaps coincidentally. For example if I wanted a new coat, I would believe it would come to me. It would show up by way of a friend giving me one of their coats, one they had brought but didn’t like anymore, one that they had hardly worn, or perhaps I would get a bonus at work ‘just enough’, (remember those words, they came back to haunt me, many times over) to be able to buy the coat I had my eye on.

My other thoughts about getting everything I wished for, I felt, stemmed from being brought up as an only child. I would only have to ask for something as a child, and I would get it (easy). I felt that as I had harnessed the power of ask and you shall receive, I would get whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. The fact is, I would expect what I had asked for, create space for it in my life, so It had no choice but to manifest. I didn’t, however realise that if I didn’t ask ‘aright’ I would manifest items, people or situations into my life that was not always in my best interest to have. So how did that happen? Lets look at how the Law works.

 How   does the Law of  Attraction work?

Simply, you ask, believe, act, you receive. Or you believe, you act, you receive.

We are creating pictures of our intended life we then make choices and take actions that will realize what we envisaged.

The minute you believe a certain thing or situation, you begin to act on that belief. The minute you begin to act, you will receive. Now remember that can be anything.....Good or bad. One can not stop the Law of Attraction from being propelled into motion.

In my blog ‘What’s in your bubble’ you see examples of people, myself included, who believed they should have certain things and of course acted upon them. Their bubble was full of the things they wanted, which followed that their conversations was always about what they wanted (ASKED) like gravity they threw it out there, they (BELIEVED) they would get it and worked towards (ACTION) receiving these things. They all got or manifested their wishes. My Son got his hats and trainers, then went on to get his motor bike, Jane worked tireless to keep house and I .....well....Here’s my story again. In my quest to keep a roof over my children’s head, study and follow a career, as I believed this is what I should do. I had something that resembled a heart attack. What I manifested was many roofs as I got evicted several times, I got my degrees, but at what financial and health costs? Plus I followed a career that caused many upsets and bad experiences. I could say, that if I didn’t try to concentrate on all three life changing activities, I may have had a better chance of achieving them with less stress and financial problems. But the truth is, I had not asked ‘aright’ or looked for signs that would tell me that I was doing the right thing or going in the right direction. More on that later. My Son, Jane and I, found that following our passion, made for a simpler happier life.

More examples of ASK, BELIEVE, ACT and RECEIVE. Whilst writing this blog, one of my son’s called to tell me a story! (yes, my kids will just call me up with random thoughts and stories that pop into their heads) It’s a story of a man who had a phobia of travelling by ship, he had had a bad experience as a child. It took him 40 years before he would get on another ship. The name of the ship was The Titanic!

This man’s experience became a belief (Believe) his action (Act) was to get on board which led to the manifestation of his thoughts or phobia.

In the ‘Game of Life and How to Play it’ Florence Scovel Shinn tells of a woman who wanted a house. The woman set her mind on the house across the street (ASKED) from where she lived.

Now remember ASK + ACT = RECEIVE or BELIEVE + ACT = MANIFEST. Good or bad it will come to pass, it’s the law!

The woman in this story prepared for the house (ACTION) she would buy things for the house, putting them aside to be used in the house. She imagined where she would put her furniture and the type of curtains she would put up. She BELIEVED she would get that house, so acted on her belief. After a few months the man who lived in the house died and she was able to buy the house cheaply. (MANIFESTATION) She wondered whether her thoughts had anything to do with his death, she was told by Florence Scovel Shinn that what she asked for, had no choice but to manifest because she acted on her belief. The universe will ensure your wish comes true, whatever it takes. Had the woman asked ‘aright’ she would not feel she had a hand in the previous owner’s death.

When you ask aright, believe and act, you will receive it. You manifest your wish with no ill-effect. Remember my coat senoria? The coat comes to me via a friend giving it to me or by the money coming in to buy the coat, everything comes in smooth transition. I had asked, I had believed I would get it, I prepared for it or taken some action towards getting it, so it appears, or the situation presents itself so e I can buy the coat without causing any other bill going unpaid.

So what’s the process to get it right?

 The Process

Step One – Ask

Step Two – Believe

Step Three- Act

 Step One – Ask BUT ask ‘aright’ Remember to say or at the very least think ‘I ask by divine right, or if I am to receive this ........ (whatever it is) I will receive it or it’s equivalent’. Remember the story of the woman who wanted the house across the street, she received the house but felt she had a hand in the death of the previous owner. Remember my quest to keep a roof over my children’s head, my actions lead to stress and financial problems. By asking aright ensures you don’t end up with what you want by ill effect. For example you ask for £3,000.00 but have a car accident and your insurer pays guessed it....£3,000.00. In Florence Scovel Shinn’s long lost 1936 Manuscript ‘The Magic Path of Intuition’   She tells of a women who complained that she never got flowers (Ask) she kept the idea of flowers in her mind (Action) One day whilst walking along her street a plant pot full of flowers fell on her head.(Manifestation) In part Two of this blog, we will discuss the Spoken Word, when you become aware of how the Law of Attraction works, you will ensure that you do not inadvertently make a wish.

Although asking is important as you have seen, believing is by far the most important of the steps.

Step Two – Believe you will receive what you have asked for. In doing this you begin to act on your belief and you know what comes next..... Believe, Act.....Receive.

Now, believing is easier said than done. This is what use to happen to me, when I wished or asked for money. I would need money for a bill or other important item and bills would turn up, some of the bills that would turn up, I had forgotten about, maybe a bill that I thought I had paid. So there I was worrying about a bill and how I was going to pay it. Can you see what I did there. I (asked) for help paying a bill, I worried or kept in my mind the inability to pay the bill (took action) and of course what do you think manifested? Bills. Are you getting this yet? Have you been there? I use to wonder how this was possible, now I know. One can’t help worrying when they are in need...But if you want the Law of Attraction to work in your favour, you will have to learn coping techniques to help you with this very important step of manifesting what you want. I mentioned earlier, that I would use affirmations, this I now realise that this was in-order to keep me on track (See ‘Your Word is your Wand’ by Florence Scovel Shinn) In which she gives affirmations for most wishes made. The mere fact that I worried (thought about the bills constantly) brought about more of what I had....bills. In swapping worrying about the bills to making positive affirmations about your wish brings about your desired outcome.

It is imperative that you believe and truly believe you will receive what you have asked for. Some people use the quote ‘fake it till you make it’. This keeps you in a positive mind set and DOING something in-regards to your wish. You should ACT as if you have what you have wished for. Again, sometimes this is difficult. Do something that puts you in the vibe or feeling of actually having your wish come true......Children are great at this. Think of a nine year old who wants a new bike. These days it would be the latest gaming console costing around £300.00 or a ‘Segway’. I digress, think like a child who expect that bike, gaming console, or Segway for their birthday or that special day of the year. They do not concern themselves about how the gift is going to get there, or that there is a gas bill for £289.00 to be paid. Their focus is on having the gift wrapped neatly waiting for them when they get up or back home from school. You should be as expectant as a little child, the only difference that should be present when you have asked for something is in the way you ASK for what you want. Remember to think or say “I ask for .......... (whatever it is) if it is mine by divine right or it’s equivalent” We get whatever we BELEIVE or ask for! whether it is good or bad for us. Asking for a dog, making sure you imagine the colour, age, breed of dog you want, not asking aright can have the universe sending you a dog that you are allergic to. Believing you will get the dog you have asked for, is a surety when you believe.

We have talked a lot about DOING in this ‘Believing Step’, but realise this is to help you to keep expecting your wish to manifest. There are many different things you could and should do in the ‘Action Step’.

Step Three - Action.

Remember earlier, I mentioned how I would do affirmations, expecting my coat to come to me. It worked every time, because I did something towards receiving my wish. You must DO in-order to GET. Let’s say you are single and want a partner. You ask ‘aright’, you believe that s/he will be coming into your life, what else can you do? Use your waiting time as a action platform. Get ready for your partner, start thinking about your outings with him/her, start imagining your life with your partner. Start making space in your life and your home for him/her. Maybe buy your partner a present. Act as if he/she is already here. If you want a new car, clean out the garage to make space for your new car, buy a key ring in-order for the car key to attach itself to your key ring. You may want to sell your house or move home. Start packing, start moving out, in your mind. Get rid of the ‘stuff’ that you won’t be taking to your new home. You must do something to get something. There are also practical things you should do. Go see an Estate agent, start seeking out a good finance company for that car or check out all the car traders you can find. You must take action. You must do something towards getting what you want, even if it’s thinking of the best outcome for your wish.

In part Two of The Law of Attraction we will look at why The law of Attraction appear not to work! Remember the Law of Attraction always, always work. It may not be the outcome that you desired, but the Law of Attraction always work and you always manifest even if it has an ill-effect (I know, that was a little hard to swallow but it’s true).We will look at asking for £1 and finding a penny! We will discuss how to turn this around, so that you generate exactly what you asked for. We will discuss the two most powerful steps to having your wish granted, they are before and after asking.

In Part One, we looked at what the Law of Attraction is. We looked at how people came across the Law of Attraction, this is a great time to check out Florence Scovel Shinn’s –‘The game of life and how to Play it’ when reading, please bear in mind it was written in 1925, our lifestyle may have changed, but the principles of The Law of Attraction remains the same. Also check out Rhonda Byrnes ‘The Secret’. We went on to discover how The Law of Attraction works. There are at least three steps that need to be adhered to, in-order to manifest your wishes. ASK, BELIEVE and ACT. Asking ‘aright’, believing that you will have your wishes granted will lead you to act on this belief, the law of Attraction has no choice but to manifest. If any of these steps are not followed correctly ones’ wish may be granted with ill-effects. In Part Two will we make sure this never happens.

The Law Of Attraction  – Penny instead of a Pound

(Part Two)

13th November 2017

The Law of Attraction is always always working. It works and it works every time we make a ‘wish’ or just ‘ASK’. The outcome may not be as desired. But there will be an outcome, you will manifest, you will receive. OK we understand that we will get what we ask for. So explain why I don’t get exactly what I ask for everytime? It’s as if things ‘part manifest’. Why does getting a penny instead of a pound count as manifesting, receiving or having ones’ wish granted? Well you asked for money! Maybe you need to be a little more specific, asking aright is important, then one needs to be grateful for what one has and for things to come. This will ensure you do not manifest the opposite of what you have asked for. An important aspect or process of the Law of Attraction is ‘Detachment’. This blog will explain why you get what you feel you may not have asked for and what you should be doing in-order to achieve the  best outcome of any wish.

For the benefit of this blog the use of the word Universe is to mean your God, A greater entity, Your higher self or All that there is. I will use the word manifest, receive and wish granted to mean what you have asked for, you ‘get’.

So back to asking for a pound and getting a penny.

Have you ever ‘put it out there’ in the universe that you want something and end up getting less than you asked for? It’s my asking for a pound and getting a penny theory. Remember the Law of Attraction always always, always work......Well you asked for money so you got money. One has to be less vague when asking, some people will write the amount they want on a piece of paper, then put it under their pillow. Rhonda Byrne, gives us a blank cheque from the bank of the Universe to fill in and keep until the money materialise. Being specific with a number I feel, keeps you ‘stuck’ on getting that number or figure. I try not to be too rigid when asking for money. I tend to focus on a particular bill being paid as opposed to a particular number or figure. I have often gotten a penny instead of a pound, looking back, I felt I had asked aright, but I do remember dwelling on the financial issue at hand. Now if I get a penny instead of a pound. I give thanks, I take it as a sign that my wish is about to be granted, and the universe is telling me that it is on it’s way.

How do you feel about getting a penny instead of a pound? Does it go a little like this? “I only got a penny” “I asked for money, real money why have I been given this?” “I haven’t been given what I ask for, this Law of attraction stuff, doesn’t work” What do you hear? I hear three more wishes. What do you think has happened to the original wish for money? Well the original wish was granted, you got a penny. Then you quickly set about making three more wishes. If you spend your time moaning (Action) about what you didn’t get, complaining (Action) that you do not have enough or not getting what you requested. You may even go on to state out loud “I will never get what I need” (Believing) Remember that Belief + Action = Manifestation! As mentioned above I tend to see that penny as greater things to come, in fact I become grateful for what I received.

Being grateful keeps you in the ACTION state. Gratitude is a great way of staying on task when trying to manifest something. While you are being grateful, there is no time to complain or unwittingly wish negative outcomes. I am grateful everyday, everyday I find something to be grateful for.

You should find at least five things every single day, to be thankful for. Here’s Five......I am grateful for my children, I am grateful for my Grandson. I am grateful for getting into my own King Size bed every night. I am grateful for the roof over my head. I am grateful that my home is warm, I am grateful that I had food to cook today. Is that more than five....I could go on and on and on and on.......Every day find five things to be grateful for. The more you are grateful, the more you will have to be grateful for....Why is that? The Law of Attraction is always working.....Being grateful, as mentioned above puts you in the Action stage. The action of being grateful pushes you into the belief stage (Action + Belief =Manifestation)

Ok, So I am grateful for what I am about to receive and what I have. But there are times however, when I do not feel grateful for the financial situation I find myself in. Having no money, needing to pay an important bill or buy food tend to leave you feeling beat down, although you are grateful for what you have, you just can’t help yourself thinking about what you need or want. How do you combat falling into that trap of manifesting more of what you don’t want. Try to think of the best outcome for your situation. Hard I know, but it’s the only way I know that works. Everytime I think of the negative financial situation I am in, I quickly catch myself and begin to think of myself writing a cheque to pay the bill or thinking up some other scenario to settle that bill. It certainly beats worrying about how and why I can’t pay it. What else can be done to ensure your wish is granted?

There is a stage of The Law of Attraction that many people do not adhered to, many people do not acknowledge or even know about it. I have mentioned this stage above, but you may have missed it. In order to ensure your wish manisfests correctly, one has to detach from the process of manisfying the wish. Lets go back to that child who expects their present on a certain day and perhaps at a certain time. (maybe a birthday) The child does not worry about how they are going to get the present, they just expect it. We need to become as a little child. Matthew 18:3 King James Version

And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Unless you become as a little child you will not have you wishes granted. Detach yourself from the process, don’t worry about where the money is going to come from, how and when it is going to get here.

Many people often feel that detachment means not caring whether the wish is granted or not. This is not the case, if I ask for or need a bill to be paid, that want does not go away until the matter is settled satisfactorily. Deepak Chapra (The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success) alerts us to the fact that “The Law of Detachment says that in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn’t mean you give up the intention, and you don’t give up the desire. You give up your attachment to the result.”

Detachment is just like turning on the light in the bathroom. You want the light on (Wish) You turn the switch (Action) and you believe the light will come on (Belief) Hey Presto the light comes on. You do not find yourself considering whether the earth wire is connected or whether the loop is working. You do not even think about the bulb, you turn the light on and expect it to work. This is how wishes are granted just as or larger than you expect. There are wishes you make that seem to manifest quickly, these are often the ones with negative outcomes, this is when you get what you don’t want. Here is how we do this....... We say that it (whatever it is) is not going to work, we will not find the money we need on time, it is or we are going to be late. We then (act) in a way to prove our theory (belief) right. Then hey presto, we manifest our negative situation/wish. These wishes seem to happen with ease, that’s because we have perfected the art of believing and acting out our negative outcome. You detached yourself from the process, you did not work out how things are going to fail or how things were going to pan out, you just 'know' it's going to fail. Wayne Dyer, in this short video explains what happens when you chase after what you want (When you state what WILL happen and HOW it will happen) instead of letting it follow you. ( Turning the switch on and expecting the light to come on)

Does this make sense to you? Are you getting what has been happening to you? When you are aware of what has been going on, you are very careful what you think and say regarding your wants and needs. We begin to adapt a different attitude to asking for what we want.

Consider the consequences of not asking aright or unwittingly wishing for what we don’t want.. We know that our actions can bring about more of what we don’t want. We also know that saying “I want money” can have us manifesting a penny. In The Law of Attraction (part three) –The Spoken Word. We will look at the power of your words and show you just how many wishes you make throughout the day. Does it surprise you, that you make more wishes than you are aware of? The spoken word as you can imagine is of uttermost importance to the process of The Law of Attraction. Having a wish come true starts with voicing a command or making a wish. We have dealt with asking ‘aright’, every stage of expecting a wish to be granted is important, but by far the most important is asking in the first place.

In this blog we learnt the importance of asking, being grateful and detaching from the outcome. We looked at what we can do to ensure the best outcome for a wish made and noted that thinking of the process keeps you in the ‘doing stage’ , what we do in this stage will determine the outcome of the wish. I hope you now understand that The Law of Attraction is always working and all wishes are granted once you have followed the process of Wish +Act + Believe = Manifestation or Act + Believe = Manifestation whether they are granted to your specifications or not.

The Law of Attraction -The   Spoken    Word

(Part Three)

9th January 2018

That first cry we make as we come into the world is a welcome sound,  we then use that cry to communicate or make our wishes heard, until we are able to ‘communicate’ our demands with the shake of legs and arms.

The first time a mother hears ‘mama’ her heart melts. The sound of what we class as the spoken word is a joy to behold.

I remember wondering when my first child Samantha was going to speak. I would call my mother every week saying she doesn’t speak, her response was she will and you will appreciate this quiet time. She wasn’t wrong, Samantha grew to be opinionated about everything.

As children grow, most of their utterances are wishes “I want, I want, I want” We grow to learn how and when to ask. Growing spiritually we realise the Power of the Spoken Word.

If you have read my work, you may have come across ‘The Tongue and the damage it can cause’ Here we will concern ourselves with the wishes we make every minute of every day, some of our wishes present themselves as less than favourable events in our life, causing us to wonder what happened or do the “Why me “speech. This blog will show why most if not all our wishes are granted.

Let’s consider the simplest of comments. Consider Parents or guardians  standing at the school gate waiting for their little darlings to finish school. One says to the other “Has jimmy had measles yet”! The response would often be “Yes” or “No not yet” The response is never, ‘he may never get measles’ The power of the spoken word by Florence Scovel Shinn alerts us to the massive impact our spoken word has on our everyday life. When you are aware of it’s strength, one considers each word. Back to the adults at the school gate, we may be aware that most children get measles if they are surrounded by other children who have the measles. But have you considered the fact that your child doesn’t have to have the measles? This is whether they are surrounded by children who have measles or not? Or is it inevitable that your child will and must catch measles? What you believe you will attract or catch!

Let’s have a look at the wishes we make on awaking.

‘I hope I am not late’

I didn’t sleep well, my whole day is gonna be XXXX

I’ve got to do this task, that task and I have got to remember to do the other I’ll never get them all done.

So you find that you was late – Wish granted

Your whole day was xxxx-Wish granted

….and you didn’t get all your tasks done –Wish granted

You spoke the word and hey presto, like magic your wish was granted. For those three wishes to be granted you had to follow the process say it, believe it and act.

I hope I am not late – has you already believing that there is a chance you are going to be late. It would only take one instant e.g the cab got to you late or the bus arrived late, perhaps you spilt coffee on your shirt or blouse, all here to confirm your suspensions that, you are going to be late and cement that belief. Your actions whatever they are, will be preformed with, I am going to be late in mind. You drop your bag and the contents falls out, you drop your laptop which has your presentation on it. You snag your trousers leg on the chair as you rush around the house, madly trying not to be late.  I often catch myself rushing to do ten million things before I leave the house in my rush to do as much as possible and leave the house on time, you can imagine how well I washed up the dishes that was in the sink or how well I swept the floor. In my rush to do as much as possible I end up causing myself more chores in having to re-do things. All these extra chores were born out of the belief of ‘I might be late’

Now I am going to be late could be just a thought- There is no belief in your words or seeking out proof, and the thought is just fleeting. You do not rush around in a manic rush, causing cataphy in your wake…… and you arrive on time. Your words and thoughts have moulding powers!

I didn’t get much sleep last night, my whole day is gonna be **** . Have you really had a good or great day after uttering those words? Be honest Any instant that helps you prove your statement or wish, will become a belief. Say it/Believe it/Act. Remember we act on our beliefs. Coincidentally that morning when you put the key in the car ignition, it chooses not to work- Oh My Days. There you have it, no need for any other proof. It’s gonna be a **** day. Why? Because you didn’t sleep well the night before!

I’ve had days like that, and I’ve had the fleeting thought that as my night was full of wake, sleep, wake, throw the covers off, because I was too hot. Now I have to go to the toilet. Now I can see day light. I have not had enough sleep and can’t go back to sleep. So my day may have **** moments. I remember having one of those nights then going to work. That morning I had to park 15 minutes away from the works car park as there were no spaces. Having got into work my computer wouldn’t let me log in. After 20minutes I moved to another computer, which took another 25 minutes of not working before I moved to yet another computer. As I sat there I began to demand/state that this day is going to be a good one. I was not going to ALLOW my day to take on its own momentum. I was going to be in control and this day was not going to go downhill it was going to be a good day. In fact I insisted on it. I could see where this day was aiming and I refused to let it get there. I may of thought it was going to be a **** day, but I refused to believe or act on it (I know how the process works, you see)

We have looked at being late and having a **** day. Being able to get certain tasks done in a specific amount of time without making wishes to the contrary should be easy. With all the things you have to do, you will never get them all done. Correct? You find the task that you felt would have taken 5 minutes, take a full hour and its never the last task, it’s the one just before the last and an important task that has to be done today. You have invested 40 minutes into that task so you may as well get it done! Been there? It once took me a whole day to remove a toilet seat. Yes – I’d moved into a new house, (I use the term New, LOOSELY) The toilet seat blots had wielded themselves to the nuts, no amount of WD40 was going to shift them, the tools I had were inadequate. I had to drive to the hardware shop and buy some tools, come back and try them, finding out that they didn’t work I return to the store to buy other tools, drive home and try those.  You get where this is going?, My 10 minute job took the whole day, trying to prove to me that I will not get all my chores done in one day. It’s right here you make a wish “I’m not going to get all my tasks done today” Any wish made must manifest, because the universe conspire to make it so.

I have also had days when I have done a million things and it felt as if I swam from one task to the next with ease. Those days did not start with a mental list of things I won’t get done. There was no rushing around causing me to make mistakes that have to be corrected. Thus causing more time on a task than was initially planned. OK so that’s ‘common sense’. It is also a part of the process of The Law of Attraction. The longer a task in your list takes to complete the more proof you have of not completing all your tasks. The more proof you have, the stronger the belief that you are not going to get them all done.

We all have fleeting thoughts as we go through our day, but if we begin the day with a wish that we would rather not be granted, we could be setting ourselves up for a ****day.

Do you mind your words in everyday off the cuff or causal conversations? Most of us don’t and we willingly make wishes throughout the day:

A) I’m sure I won’t get a parking space, when I get there.

So you are driving to the store. It’s a busy Saturday afternoon, on arrival at the car park you proclaim “I’m sure I won’t get a parking space” Your wish will be granted 1) Because you made the wish. 2) You begin to act on your belief.  You begin to act in such a way that you won’t notice, that woman who has just emptied her trolley and is about to drive away. You are following the crowd and refuse to go to the upper storey where there are always spaces. You believe there will be no spaces, so there will be no space……for you!                                                         

B) I bet they won’t have my size 

Now, what size do you take? I am sure your size has been sitting on a shelf or a haute coutures’ manikin at some point before ending up in the very store you have just entered. Why would you make a wish like “they won’t have my size”. But we do, maybe not intentionally but we do. So you look around the store for 20 minutes, you don’t find your size so you ask the assistant if they have your size in stock. The assistant goes away and returns with “We’ve just sold the last one in that size” B I N G! Wish granted.

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C) I’ve got a cold coming, I can feel it.

Yes you certainly have a cold coming, because you just wished it, believed it and acted upon it by convincing yourself that you can feel it. End of! No need for any other action or proof here, you’ve got your proof, you sneezed! Plus James who sits next to you, has a cold. Come to think of it, that woman on the train this morning sneezed in your direction. There you have it.

Alright Alright, If you’ve read this far you know I am being obtuse. There are mornings or throughout the day when we have these fleeting negative thoughts. But they are just fleeting and we do not act on them. There are also times when we have these thoughts and we then go on to have a great day. Things work out. Why? I hear you say….Well….You understand that if you say it, believe it, you will manifest it. Things work out when you think it, say it and let it go. When you let go of that thought, you let go of the wish…There is no seeking out proof, there is no acting on the thoughts you let it go. Letting go of negative thoughts is like making a wish and stopping mid-way…Those wishes will not manifest.

There are some life situations that we have wished for ourselves, you know the ones. They are situations we find ourselves in ALL the time. Here’s one I find myself experiencing ‘most’ of the time. As part of my Counselling Psychology Master degree, I had to attend 20 hours of therapy. I believe that practice gives one the experience of being on the proverbial ‘couch’, having therapy also helps with any underlining issues a counsellor may have. So I arrive at the Psychotherapist office, as a Psychologist myself I was not allowed to be counselled by another Psychologist. I am ushered in and I sit down, I know the drill! (Where to sit, how to sit etc..) The therapist asks me “how was the journey to the office” I say it was “fine, I get lost all the time, but I got here” he then asks “all the time?” I reply “ yes, I can’t go anywhere without getting lost” At this point I am thinking, why doesn’t he start this session already. If I knew then what I know now, I would have realised that the session had started the minute I stepped into his office and that what I said often was causing me to get lost every time I got into my car. The “I get lost all the time” has stopped, the therapist help me see and agree that ‘I get lost some of the time’. That has remained with me as I do get lost sometime. We have to become aware of everything that we say, especially the things we don’t want in our life. Something as simple as “I get lost all the time” ensures that I got lost every-time I got in my car, yes every-time. I remember saying to someone, I could left, left, left and left again and still get lost. What do you say ALL the time? Looking back are your wishes granted ALL the time? Think about those little throw away comments that you say most everyday? Or the rehearsed comments you use when certain subjects are broached, you say something like “I’m big boned, I’m always gonna be fat” “I can’t hold on to friends.” “I can’t find a partner” “I’m never going to achieve anything like the people I look up to” All the above, are wishes to be granted. Such wishes manifesting allows us to ‘believe’ that our statements are true and you know what happens when you say it, believe it and act on it….wishes are granted. Good bad or indifferent these wishes will/must, has no choice but be granted. What do you say that is manifested in your life, over and over again.

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Think for a minute, remember we are talking about those tiny wishes that are granted day in and day out. “I’m going to be late” “I’ll never get this done” What do you say when someone, on meeting you ask, how are you? If your response is “ I’m as well as to be expected” firstly  I hear that you want me to ask you what’s the matter, why are you as well as to be expected and secondly, you will be always be ‘as well as to be expected’ Look me up and ask me how I am…my reply will always be “great” or “I’m lovely thanks” Really, I hear you say, I bet you are not always ‘great’ , you’re right I am not always feeling great. I say great even when I’m not because great or lovely is how I expect to be and to feel. Plus if you are asking me how I am, I am out or I am on a call with you or on social media. The mere fact that I am breathing makes me great. It is vital that you become aware of what you say at all times, even if it’s a joke or a greeting. Now you know just how easy it is to make a wish, I trust you will be careful that your greeting isn’t making a wish every-time you say it.

Our first cries at birth, are wishes. As we grow we learn how and when to ask for what we want….Why then do we send out wishes blindly?

On waking we make wishes for the day. I’m going to be late we say, and then go on to give the reason we are going to be late. My whole day is going to be **** because…I didn’t sleep well or I stubbed my toe as I got out of bed. I certainly won’t get all these tasks done…..because this first task took an hour instead of ten minutes. A fleeting thought of, I am going to be late, does not have a reason why you are going to be late behind it, a fleeting thought is just that, it comes and goes. Unwanted manifestations are ones that have been built….You say It, (gather proof) you believe it and act on it. We find that certain events in our lives, continue to happen over and over. Then we realise that our everyday utterances are bringing about granted wishes. Remember the process of The Law of Attraction never changes, whether you wish for a desired outcome or not. Say It, Believe it and Act on it.

I wish you well.

Rescue Yourself

7th February 2018


The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence. 2 Samuel 22:3 KJV

I have often asked God, why was I always on my own when things got really ‘bad’ in my life. When the eviction notices came in, when the bailiff letters were hand delivered, when the electric went off on Sunday evening and there was no money until Monday morning around 9am when the post office opened. Or when my son had yet another asthma attack, but this time the ambulance had to work on him for ten minutes before they could transport him to the hospital. I could go on and on but it would serve no purpose here. The people around me, were my children.

A Knight In Shining Armor On His Black Armored Horse Holding A

Maybe I expected a knight in shinning armour to stop the evictions, to pay the outstanding debt to stop the bailiff or to be there to put some money on my electric key……Maybe not.

I knew very long ago that I had to and would look after myself. At 17 years old I took up residence in a hostel for the homeless with my six week old baby. I knew that she had to be taken care of, and I knew that I was the one to do it.

As my marriages broke down and I had had more babies, I knew that I had to take care of all those babies….No knight in shinning armour, I had left him. He didn’t even leave a shinny penny to help care for these babies, I had to take myself and him to court in-order to get that Penny.

Watching my children’s education and ensuring that they were given all the best help they needed, whether that was in main stream school or private tuition. My fighting continued after my children left school. But this blog is not about my fight. The examples sighted above are times when I could have used that knight in shinning armour to come riding in on his beautiful Black horse to rescue me. Instead I found myself in a boxing ring with gloves on, hearing the bell sound for the next round. I and I alone had to come out fighting or be knocked out. I alone was responsible for getting us another home to live in. I alone had to negotiate with the bailiffs. I alone had to stand up for my childs’ right to be taken out of mainstream school and given private tuition. That was a tough one, the school authorities threatened me with prison as I had kept my son out of school for a year, following a far too often ‘restraining’ regime at the school. I had to rescue my children and myself.

 I am not sure who I could have asked for help or to fight my battles for me. I had fought my baby daddies, I didn’t have any friends who were in a position to help, on top of that, I am told that I am very proud and didn’t even consider asking anyone to fight my battles. I felt that I was responsible for the fight I had created. No one created the grand event of THE BAILIFFS ARE COMING No one created the event of YOU ARE EVICTED or the fact that your child needs you, and only you can stand up and fight for him. There you have it. I had to rescue myself. I do hope you never find yourself in the type of ring I found myself, and if you do I hope you have someone or some people to help you. Having a tag team would be great!


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 Have you always had that someone there to fight your battles for you? Be honest Do you turn to the crowd of people you have in your corner for help, thinking at least one of them will step in and fight a round for you?

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 Some of us have that someone who has their back. Some of us have a team of people they can turn to. There are others that have ‘people’ around them, and that’s all they are ‘people’. In all those instances you are still here to be counted, you are really alone. With a crowd of people in your corner you still may find yourself standing in that ring, boxing gloves on, gum shield in and maybe protective head gear. The bell sounds and you see your opponent (The bailiff, the eviction date) coming for you. What do you do? Stand there looking at your tag team or the crowd of people in your corner? My instincts tells me to put my hands up to shield my face and step forward because we are going to fight. I never have the urge to close my eyes and take a swing, I tend to know where I am going to aim. In all the above scenario’s, while standing there in the ring staring at your opponent, you are thinking of rescuing yourself. You are going to save YOU. At no point do you feel that you are going to stand there and get knocked out (well I hope not). What do you do when you find yourself in a ring, gloved up and the bell rings? Take five minutes to think about it. Do you find that you always look to others to fight your battles, you may have another word for ‘fight your battles’, It may sound something like this  “s/he will know what to do” or it maybe “s/he will sort it out” If that is what you find yourself saying, contact me If you are in the ‘I don’t have battles like that’ group, or the ‘My partner and I fight our battles together’ camp then thank your blessings.

Most battles in my life, I have had to fight myself. There are some battles only you can fight. Like those silent battles that your partner, friend or family members don’t know about? Take five minutes. Who fights those battles for you?

I have just put you in the boxing ring! With no gloves, no gum shield and no head gear. Your opponent is gloved up, wearing a gum shield, headgear and a hook and loop sparring protector. Your opponent in this scene is YOU!

Your opponent is so well protected because you have managed to shield this part of you so well. Protected from everyone around you and most of the time from yourself.

Your protected opponent is that secret you have never told anyone, your opponent is that habit you feel you can’t kick. Your opponent is how you really feel about yourself despite the layers of make up, clothes or fat you put on your body, your opponent is the thoughts you have about the life you’d rather be living, your opponent has the ability to tell people what you really think about them. Your opponent has the ability to walk away, your opponent has the ability to say No more often, your opponent has the ability to stop concerning itself with what people think of you. Your opponents’ name is FREEDOM.

Who rescues you from YOU?

There are no crowds, no referee and no bell. You are staring at you on the other side of the ring and you know it’s time to fight, who do you turn to? You go within to rescue you.

Your opponent is protected but you are not, doesn’t seem to be a fair fight does it? Let’s even up the odds a little. Let’s disrobed your opponent. The head gear of your opponent is guilt, take off the head gear and throw it out of the ring. That guilt you feel about the secret you have been holding. The guilt about how you feel about yourself. The guilt you feel about what you believe you should be doing and the guilty feelings about your inabilities. By throwing your guilt feelings out of the ring you can begin to release some of that guilt around your issues.

Now disrobe your opponent of shame by taking out the gum shield. Lies and deception can be thrown out of the ring by removing the gloves and failure will lesson by taking off the hook and loop sparring protector from your opponent and discarding it. You are now in-front of an opponent with a fighting chance of winning and rescuing you. With less guilt, shame, the memory of the lies told and deception used to hide your secret or to feed your habit, as well as thoughts of failure all thrown to one side. You can now begin your journey of healing. We all have secrets or done things we would rather not talk about, because of the feelings they conjure up. We use guilt, shame and the memories to beat ourselves up. You have just completed a task that will help you to move forward, take this opportunity to ask for help, seek out a therapist, your go to person or contact me Making that first step, which is the biggest, will start you on the road to rescuing yourself.

Now not all rescues are straight forward, they will be bumps in the road, so prepare for some slip ups, you may have to climb some rough terrain, but you’ll get there in the end some rescues take more than one person battling on their own. Seek help and be patient.

Having the ability to heal yourself or to get help in-order to begin your healing journey, is like being ship wrecked, seeing a boat, swimming towards it and climbing in. You have done your part towards rescuing yourself.

There are some times in your life when only you can rescue you. Be aware of those times so you don’t waste time looking around for a tag team or a knight in shining armour.

Are You a Catalyst? 

7th March 2018

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Are you a Catalyst?

What is a catalyst? Scientifically, a catalyst is a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction, without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change. (Chemistry  Glossary)

A catalyst as a person – A Channel, a medium, an agent, an instrument, a muse or a stimulus.

Some professions e.g. Lawyers, Doctors, Counsellors, Mangers, Religious leaders and The police to mention a few, bring about change by their mere presences. In some cases our whole demeanour changes as they approach. There are certain professions that dictate the type of life they should lead. Partying most nights and burning the candle at both ends may bring inspiration to a rock star or other artists. The same behaviour may find the individual disbarred from practicing law. These people in our lives become spectator sport to us, as we watch and learn from them.

Are you a catalyst? Who is watching and learning from you? You may have a different name for yourself: A good Christian, a good Muslin, a good Jew, a good person, a good neighbour, a Mother/Father or Friend.

Who in your life watches you? You will be surprised who sees your action? Have you ever considered that you may be a catalyst? Have you ever noticed yourself giving advice to another, which they took, used and excelled?

Have you thrown advice in the wind, for example in a conversation with a group of people then you find out that someone took, ran with the advice resulting in their life changing for the better.

Have you noticed your advice being taken and used to the benefit of the listener only to watch them excel with no acknowledgement of your help? Has there been occasions when you have noticed that someone has copied your actions and excelled! Never mentioning your part in their progress?

As parents, you expect to be a catalyst for your childrens’ hope and dreams, you hope that they take your advice in-order to excel. Maybe you feel great about your ability to help people in a certain way, but unable to help yourself. I don’t want to give too many examples of myself as a catalyst, but here’s a few.

Most of my jobs involved ensuring clients and patients became the best they could be. In working with young people with mental health issues and behavioural problems. Those with physical difficulties, homeless women with mental health issues. The long time unemployed. Adults  with alcohol and drug additions. My work with the Elderly ‘End of life’ patients and their families. On an everyday level the people I interacted with, tend to go on to excel in life. I have on several occasions acted as a catalyst for work colleagues who went on to seek other employment as they came to the realization that they were worth more than they were being offered in their present position. One example springs to mind. I was given a position in which a member of the then staff had been in a senior role for eight years. She felt that it was her natural progression to have been offered my new position. The mere fact that I had arrived, pushed her to seek and secured a position she didn’t dream of applying for before I had arrived. She may have realised that after 8 years in the same position, she was never going to be promoted. As a catalyst, I gave her the incentive to move on, she also became open to the opportunities that were out there.

Another ‘friend’ managed to buy a property, as I was in the process of buying mine. mmmm sounds a little like you are taking praise for what people had decided to do for themselves! That could be true, but when you are told that you were the incentive for a shift, you accept that you have been the catalyst in that situation.

Are you a catalyst?

Consider your contribution to another persons’ life. Thinking back on your life, who have you influenced for the better or worst. (...and does it matter? Sure it does). If you feel that you have not contributed to anybodies life good or bad. Think again.........Your actions are always being watched by someone, younger or older than you. Someone out there sees you. Think about those people who have copied you! Think about those people who have given you advice. Think about those you have given advice to. They all watch your life. You have contributed to their lives.

I feel that I have contributed to at least six people’ lives, my children. I can only hope that most of what I have taught them has left a positive impression. When I watch their lives evolve, I notice some of my actions and beliefs playing out. I can see my influences. Some good some not so good. But I know i’ve contributed to their lives. My aim as always is to be a living example to everyone I interact with. What would you say you have contributed to other peoples’ lives? Do you see your influence playing out in their lives? Take a closer look.

Are you a catalyst?

What does it feel like to be a catalyst?

Is it innate?

Is it your path in life?

Can it be developed?

What does it feel like to be a catalyst? We understand our role as parents, but what does it feels like to be a catalyst to others?

I have seen a quote recently that said ‘I love to see others achieve’. There is a sense of ‘I am pleased for that person. I am glad that s/he has managed to get that job, that house, that new partner, that new path in life. For me it’s not a sense of achievement, it‘s just a pleasant feeling that they have moved on to something or somewhere better. As a catalyst and a human being, I have watched people excel past my own situation or station in life. I have seen people go on to get a better position than I was in, after being encouraged to go for that new job or promotion or to move to a better area, often wondering why I couldn’t do that for myself! Many of the people I have helped to excel, have disappeared from my life, It would appear as if they had only entered my life to go on to better things. Is that the way it’s suppose to be? Maybe it is.

Maybe being a catalyst is an innate ability....What do you think? Are you in a job that allows you to help others? Leaving you where you are, in-order to help many more. What is your chosen career? You could be a catalyst. Being a catalyst is a gift, it is your talent. There are many people out there that live for themselves and their own. They wouldn’t give a smile away, let alone anything else they deem is theirs. These people will keep information to themselves when they know it would help others. These individuals have climbed their personal ladders over many years and believe that you should do the same. You will find that people like that often see you struggling and reach for the popcorn to watch. They appear to sit back and instead of offering you advice to make your journey easier, they will tell you that , they felt you needed to learn the journey for yourself. (Do you know who I am talking about?) Do you have someone like that in your immediate circle? Not everyone you have around you are catalysts or have the ability to advise, help or point you in the right direction, but be aware of those you meet at your destination who were there at the beginning of your race and didn’t show you the short cut they took!

Being a catalyst comes from within. What are you doing with that gift you have been given? If you feel that you may be a catalyst and need someone to talk to, please contact me Being a catalyst is who you are, it is a need to help others, you may find that you are unable to help yourself in the same way. Is that you? When one has a gift such as singing, baking, drawing, writing or playing a musical instrument (to name a few) You get the urge to use it and share it with others. Being a catalyst is one such gift or talent. However it stands apart from many other gifts, as catalysts are here to ensure that they change lives, a life change has to occur. Remember at the beginning of this blog where you was given a description of a scientific meaning of a catalyst? It states that the catalyst has to cause a reaction (a movement) without itself undergoing any permanent change. A catalyst as a person is here to help others excel, move up to another level in their lives and they do it effortlessly. If you see yourself in these words you are indeed a catalyst and you should develop your talent.

Just like a pianist one has to practice their talent in-order to become the best they can be. Can an innate ability be developed? Sure, any skill can be enhanced. As a catalyst you will find that you are placed in the company of people who need your help to excel, to move up a level in their lives. This may happen through your job, your colleagues, people you see regularly. The people in need of a catalyst will come into your space or life seamlessly, you will not need to go looking for them. You may find that you are at a bus stop every morning with a neighbour who smiles and says hello, you strike up a conversation in which over time, you will be able to help move on or up in their lives. You may meet someone for whom you happen to have the answers to their life changing questions, which when acted up on will excel their life to a better place. By offering your insight or advice and seeing the transformation of others, you will become more astute to the needs of others. For those shrinking violets out there, remember as a catalyst you will not have to do any leg work to find the people you can help. They tend to appear in your life, they will just come to you. Be aware that, in-order to do what you do, people have to be ready for your help, people have to be ready for your input. As a catalyst you have only one ability and that is to bring about change.. As you develop your abilities through helping others, you will find that you will be sought out, people will begin to ask for your opinion on certain matters. You will become the ‘go to person’. Does that occur now in your life?

I am a catalyst in that I help people change the way they see situations they may be in and their ability to change them. Are you a catalyst? Do you impact other peoples’ lives for the better. Is this your chosen career? Or do you tend to do this naturally, either way your abilities allow others to excel. You leave others better off, just by being around them and offering non judgemental, practical advice. This ability to enhance others peoples’ lives is a gift or talent, it comes from a higher place. It is innate and can be developed by realising that you are chosen to help others in this way. The more people you help the more people seek you out. Sometimes you will help others excel right pass your station in life, but the feeling you get from seeing others achieve will bring you satisfaction. How you help others may not be immediately obvious, but you will be made aware of your participation in their life change. The person or people you help, may not acknowledge your help, but you will know the part you played. Someone somewhere is watching your life and learning from you.

I hope that anybody who meets me, go away feeling that I’ve contributed something positive to their life.

If you need help with anything written in this blog please contact me

Negative/Positive does it matter?

6th April 2018

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 KJV

Does it matter whether your day is filled with Negativity or Positivity?  On the surface you may say – “Sure, it matters”. Are you aware of it’s impact on your life? Maybe you believe you do know it’s impact. So how do you go about ensuring that your day is mostly positive?

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There are some people who don’t care that their relationship with their neighbour is less than cordial. There are others who don’t speak to some their family members, as they constantly bicker. That in it self is not a huge concern, but it’s the feelings that go along with the discord that counts. A feeling of ‘I don’t care whether we ever talk to each other again’ that brings about the negative feelings...Does it matter? You are still going to get on with your life! Thoughts of that person will come up every now and then, but you can deal with that, you have learnt to brush them away, as you feel they have no baring on your life. Does it matter that you feel that Mrs. Jones, the corner shop owner, is a nice person or a colleague at work is always cheery? When you look at your life and the people in it, do you notice that there are more people that you like, love or is fond of, or do you find that there are more people you dislike? Strange question, I know. Is your day taken up with more negative thoughts about people and situations or are you more often than not, feelings of  positivity? I am not trying to diagnose depression here, I am just asking you to survey your life and consider whether your thoughts are mostly positive or negative and does it matter?

This blog will look at the effects of negativity and positivity in your life, and asks whether it matters or not.

Think of your day


Are you exposed to Negativity via family members? Do you wake like the sun and shine?  Or are you quite and reserved? Perhaps you get up with a mood and face that says ‘Jesus I’ve got to do this and that today’. Do you switch the TV on and listen to the news as you get ready for your day, how much negativity do you hear every morning?

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In a study by Szabo, A., & Hopkinson, K. L. (2007) International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 14(2), 57-62.Called The Negative psychological effects of watching the news on television, they found that relaxation or another intervention may be needed to buffer them!

The psychological effects of televised news were studied in two groups (n=179) of undergraduate students who watched a 15-minute random newscast followed by either a 15-minute progressive relaxation exercise or a 15-minute lecture (control condition). Subjective measures of state anxiety, total mood disturbance (TMD), positive affect, and negative affect were obtained before and after the news as well as following relaxation exercise or the lecture. The results showed that state anxiety and TMD increased, whereas positive affect decreased in both groups after watching the news and 15 minutes These findings demonstrate that watching the news on the television triggers persisting negative psychological feelings that could not be buffered by attention-diverting distraction (i.e., lecture), but only by a directed psychological intervention such as progressive relaxation. So unless you take time out to relax after watching just 15 minutes of the news you are likely to have mood disturbances.

Maybe your mornings are filled with everything positive. Perhaps you listen to motivational material, or play my videos

Your family may be bright every morning, after saying ‘good morning’ your positive morning ritual begins.

You may be aware of the experiments by Dr. Masaru Emoto with water. Dr Emoto observed beautiful crystals forming after giving good words, playing good music, and showing, playing, or offering pure prayer to water. On the other hand, he observed disfigured crystals in the opposite situation. As human beings we are made up of at least 53% of water, imagine what listening to inspirational material can do for you.

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Does it matter which one of these scenarios you experience in the morning?

Are there negative or positive influences on the way to or during your work day. Think for a minute. Are you having mostly negative thoughts throughout your day or are they mostly positive?

Does it matter?

Look at what you are exposed to during the evening, mostly positive or negative? Remember the positive or negative feelings can come from how you feel about what you doing or who you encounter.

So you have looked at your day and described it as mostly positive or negative.

The Body

I believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience and thus need a human body. Our body acts like a sponge to its environment and like Dr Emoto’s water experiment reacts accordingly.  

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During the day your clothes and body absorb the days’ interaction. The dust from the building construction area you walked past, or the rain you walked through. The fluids released from your body are all absorbed by your clothes. At the end of the day, you remove your clothes and wash off the dirt and grime of the day. But have you considered what you have absorbed? Through the stress of your households’ morning rush, through the stress of missing the train or bus. The arguments you shared with the driver who cut you up at the lights, the waitress who brought you the wrong sandwich after waiting 10 minutes in the queue, which by the way, is half of your lunch break. The work colleague you felt you had to listen to, put you down again, the boss who you can’t talk to. You go home, hopefully to a harmonious home, if not, your body will absorb the environment. Your body will pick up on the vibe from the people in your household, the people on the phone, social media....Shall I go on? I think I need to go on. We have just recalled your ‘work day’.What about your evening? 

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What about your evening? What do you subject your body to in the evenings? Have you checked your viewing habits? What do you watch? What is the theme of the programmes you regularly watch or record for later?  I have a diverse ‘type’ of programmes that I record and watch, when I have a break. Once the programme has people indulging in their passion, I’ll watch it. This could be anything from Ink Masters to Portrait Artist of the year. I will watch things like Forged in fire to British Bake off. I also enjoy watching anything involved with house building and it’s interior. I listen to motivational speeches and interviews, from ‘Oprah’ to ‘T.D Jakes’ to ‘Gray V’ throughout the day.  Doing this does not stop me getting calls from someone who has yet another drama episode. What I have learnt is, what may be an emergency in their life, is not in mine. I make use of calming words to divert the emergency and see the situation in the moment. Things I aim to find out about the situation, is the person safe, is their house on fire, is there a roaring lion chasing the individual. After these things have been established, we talk though the situation, while constantly helping the caller to come to their own solution to their ‘emergency’. If I can do this in 20 minutes all is well! If not I will tell the caller that I will call them back in an hour. I have found that that hour has helped the caller to calm down even further.

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I refuse to allow another persons’ emergency become my drama. I find that there are not many situations that resonate in my body. After establishing that the caller isn’t in any immediate danger, we can begin to work through the issue at hand.  I live in England and most of the people calling me with issues also live in a First world country. So most issues can be solved even if it means calling an ambulance.

Ensuring that you aware of what you are exposing your body to, is important for your personal and spiritual growth. Consider your day, what have you been exposed to today?

Our aim as human beings is to be happy. Most of the things we do is to ensure our happiness, contentment and to enjoy life. We do this unconsciously....Think about it for a second. You may want a new job, you may want this new job to give you more money, more time with your family perhaps, or you may be following a career. You have chosen this new job in the hope that you will be on the road to a better life, a happier life. We go on holiday, to relax our minds from our everyday concerns, to be happy. We may go on holiday to relax our bodies, we go away for r & r (Rest and Relaxation). Consider what we do in regards to our physical body. We tend to, most of the time, keep our body healthy (trying to keep our body happy). When we do something that may not be healthy, like eat too much, smoke cigarettes perhaps abuse alcohol  or drugs. We beat ourselves up about these destructive behaviours as they are incongruent to our aim of happiness.

The Soul

The Soul is the best part of us. It is Light, Goodness, Love, Peace, Pure. The list is endless. The Soul is everything that is Good. Some people call it Source, Spirit, the place where God resides within us. The function of the Soul is to look after our well-being, keep us safe and on the right path for our lives.

Just as the body speaks to us, though how we feel, how well its parts are performing or whether they have stopped all together, the Soul speaks to us. The soul speaks to us through intuition. Intuition is that small voice inside us that says “Don’t take that job” “Do go over there” “Don’t buy or eat that”. “Wait, Go, Stop”

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Many times we don’t hear these instructions because we are not listening, maybe we do hear our intuition but choose not to take its guidance.

The Soul, like the body, needs to be or feel happy. When the Soul feels a threat to its happiness, you feel uneasy. Your intuition will tell you “something is wrong”. Constantly feeling unhappy about going to your place of work is sure sign that something is wrong. Your body and Soul will let you know. Your intuition will tell you to make a change to this situation, you may do this by speaking to someone who can make your working experience happier or by leaving.

Believe me or not, your intuition would have  fore warned  you of any, yes any threat to its happiness.....Let’s say you need to go to the supermarket, you want to pop in get a few items and leave, as you have catch a certain train in-order to be on time for an appointment. While in the supermarket you look for the smallest line, you get there, but something is wrong with the till, or for some other reason the cashier is taking longer than usual to serve the people before you...If you think back to making the decision to go to the supermarket and listened carefully you would have heard.....”leave the supermarket trip until later” or “Make your appointment first and on the way back, go into the supermarket”. You stand in the queue, whilst there, you are constantly wondering if you’ll have time to get your train. The longer you stand there the more stressed you become. If you have experienced this let me know Even the smallest tasks in our lives that threatens our happiness will have the Soul stepping in and telling us that something is not right or giving us instructions, but you will not hear it if you don’t listen. Remember, while you are bitching that the queue is slow, you will not hear that small voice. How often have you not listened to that tiny voice in the pit of your stomach that told you not to do something or go somewhere, and you went against it, only to find it was a wasted journey or you got lost causing you more stress. You may have encountered any number of unwanted situations.

We have looked at some instances of where we attract negativity in our lives. Now think back to your earliest memories of being happy. I live in England and most of my clients will tell me that they can remember, as a child, rushing downstairs on Christmas morning to open their presents and finding that they were given the gift they had wished for. The joy! As you grow you can quickly recall negative situations and a sprinkling of happy times along the way. Often our happy times are the ones we have made ourselves, like passing exams at school or college. As we grow we may recall happiness as we passed our driving test, perhaps receiving love from another. Maybe getting married “A happy day”. Getting a dream job or promotion. Happy times. Having your first child, another happy occasion. Above I have mentioned only five or six instances of happiness over a span of about 25 years, from that Christmas present to having your first child. I am not suggesting one is only ‘happy’ five times in a life time. I am suggesting that as adults, we find it harder to recall happy times. Because we are the ones who have had to make our hour or our day happy or positive. It is often other people or situations that bring negativity into our lives. Take a moment and check your life, does any of what I have said above, ring true?

Many people find it easier to describe the negative situations or people in their day. When you realise that you are the one, that creates the positivity in your day, you will ensure that when you feel or see a negative situation evolving, you try to change the outcome and ultimately the experience.

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Here’s an example Mrs. Smith, a co-worker, is always grumpy first thing in the morning and can be found in the staff room before work starts. People say “It’s just how she is” You enjoy a hot beverage in the staff room, before you start work and so meet Mrs. Smith there. What do you do? You could sit in the staff room saying to yourself ‘she is such a grumpy woman’.  Sip sip on your beverage ‘I don’t know why this woman is always so grumpy’ Sip sip....or ‘I can’t stand her’ Sip sip...... All of which will cause negativity in your body. 

Mrs. Smith hasn’t caused the negativity surging through your body, you have. Remember you create your own positivity in your life. It is your job to ensure that it is positivity surging through your body. Here’s how you do this...You use gratitude. You enter the staff room and see Mrs. Smith, say good morning and be grateful that you have a place of work to go to, be grateful that you actually got to work at all. Be grateful you got to work in time to have a beverage before you start work....See where I’m going here? If you don’t have to converse with Mrs. Smith....Don’t. Get your beverage and go to your desk or some other place to drink it. You could forfeit your workplace beverage all together and have it  at a coffee shop on the way to work! Everything you do should be to combat any negativity.

The Mrs. Smith saga is a tiny example in comparisons to our everyday interactions. What you should have gleaned from my example is just how proactive you have to be in creating your own happiness. Constantly being happy or positive isn’t as easy as you’d think. The minute you wake up you should set the tone on a positive note. Be grateful that you woke up, be grateful that you have the ability to get up, walk to the bathroom, shower, brush your teeth, dress and feed yourself. The positivity doesn’t stop there. On the way to the school gates or on to your place of work where there is a Mrs. Smith! Staying positive inevitably keeps you happy and we know that being happy is our aim in life.

So how much positivity or negativity do you have in your life? Is it mostly positive or negative and does it matter? This blog has shown that negativity harms your body and makes your Soul unhappy. We have seen just how much negativity we absorb during the length of a day and how easily we allow negativity to build up, from the morning rush with the children, while soaking up the sound of the news in the background, missing the train, being in a queue at the supermarket, receiving the wrong sandwich after waiting ten minute for it. The negativity we absorb through the TV, social media, the people on the other end of the phone! There are endless other ‘things’ that brings negativity to you. I am sure you could reel off at least seven, without thinking too hard.

We have learnt that our aim as human beings is to be happy and that happiness leads to a more positive life. We have gathered that we make our own happiness as we grow, by ensuring we detach from negativity or by having a different mind set, to what appears before us. We do this by being grateful. Our soul is happy when we are grateful, it’s aim is to keep us safe, well and give us instructions through our intuition when our happiness is threatened. Our soul will also guide us onto our right path, all we have to do is listen. (Is your life quiet enough to hear it?) We have found that being positive takes a lot of energy, as it is a minute by minute conscious task.


6th May 2018

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6  (KJV)

What is trust?  A person on whom or thing on which one relies.

What makes you trust the food you buy? You trust the company you are buying it from.

Do you trust thatyou will get paid at the end of the week or month from your employer? Your answer is likely to be yes.

What makes you trust, when buying a car? You trust the car manufacturer or dealer, or perhaps you trust your research.

Do you trust your life will turn out how you planned? Or is there worry there? Perhaps you believe your life will go in the direction you have planned, but willing to see what happens.

Perhaps you are an entrepreneur trusting that your business will grow. Do you believe it will grow or are you just hoping it will?

To trust is to, believe.

If you have read my blog ’Law of Attraction’ you will know that once you believe a thing, act upon it, you will receive it. It has to work, it has no choice but work.

Do you go from day to day. Just hoping to get through the day, getting through your work day, getting through the issues at home? Maybe you wait for the weekend when you know for sure, you will feel better, as you will see your friends and family. Do you find that your weekends are better than your work week? I’d say you feel they are better, because you believe it will be.

What do you truly believe about your life? Really believe! Many believe that they will work until 64 years old, get a pension and hope that their health holds up. Have grandchildren and go comfortably unto a better place at the end of life. When you truly believe something you act on it. This blog will test your trust levels in a bid to get you to relinquish some of your everyday concerns.

If you could throw off all your troubles all worries, all your concerns. What do you think this would feel like? Would you be able to release them?

You’ve been holding on to your worries and concerns for so long, it may be difficult to relinquish them. Is it possible for an adult to feel truly carefree and reliant on an unseen entity? Being carefree may be difficult for most of us, as we have had to depend on ourselves every minute of every day.

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Let’s take a trip to the shops, after giving thanks that we have the ability to do these things, let’s set about leaving the house, as no one will be left in the house, we lock the windows and doors, we ensure that nothing is left on that could be a fire hazard, dress appropriately, ensure and have an idea of where we are going plus the fare or petrol to get there. We have to act socially (most of the time) to get us to our destination. Once there, we need to do what is expected of us, as an adult in a shop. Choose the items we want, navigate the isles without hitting other shoppers or the displays. Pay for the items and leave the shop then make our way home. As adults we depend on ourselves for the majority of the time, especially when we are left alone. Now add to our trip to the shop, one or two children, our responsibilities has grown!

Think of the many things we relay on our adult selves to do in-order to keep us safe and carry out our normal day. I cannot help thinking of the people who have to relay on equipment, a dog or other people to ensure their safety. I count my blessings everyday that I am able to get up and care for myself. But there have been times when I felt overwhelmed with financial and personal worries. Having no one to turn to, I have had to turn inward. I have had to trust that there is a higher force that will take care of me. You can do it to.

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Imagine you have taken all your concerns, financial, personal and business worries and left them at a door step, knowing you have done your bit and it will be sorted out. How does it feel?

This is not meditation. Meditation allows you to shut off your thoughts, relaxes the mind and body. This is connecting with your Soul. The part of you that is pure, where goodness lives, some people call it Source, some believe this is where God resides in you. Abraham Hicks, calls this ‘The Vortex’ Do you think you can get there?    

The function of the Soul is to look after our well-being, keep us safe and on the right path for our lives. The soul holds all the good we want for ourselves and others. The soul speaks to us through intuition. Intuition is that small voice inside us that says “Wait, Go, Stop, No, Yes, s/he is lying” and the many other discourse our soul tries to communicate to us. Many times we don’t hear these instructions because we are not listening, maybe we do hear our intuition but choose not to take its guidance.

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The Soul, like the body, needs to be or feel happy. When the Soul feels a threat to its happiness, you feel uneasy. Your intuition will tell you “something is wrong”. For example, constantly feeling unhappy about going to your place of work, is a sure sign that something is wrong. Your Soul will let you know, your intuition will tell you to make a change to this situation.

Once you know or remember that you have a safe place to go to, a place that will take care of you, a place that only wants good for you, you will naturally always want to be or go there. If this then, is a great place to be, why is it that we don’t take the things that concerns us to this place and leave them there to be sorted?

Imagine you are a happy child, who has no concerns other than ‘where’s mum? Oh she’s over there’ .This child knows that they will be looked after and that all their needs will be met.

Do you think you would be able to imagine, such a state? Here’s how you begin to do it….Trust or believe. This will allow you to escape for a moment and allow yourself to be free. Try it, just for a moment………………. How did it feel?

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Throughout your day, think of yourself emerged in water. Think of yourself floating on top of the water, while clearing your mind of any worry or concern. You know that you won’t drown, you will believe that you won’t drown, you trust that you will float. If you can imagine the feeling of weightlessness, floating or as a child with no care in the world. You will find that, in this space you do not think of the bills, you will not think about the Rent/Mortgage. You will not think of the relationships in your life, that are not going the way you would wish. You do not think of your work or work colleagues.  You only have light thoughts, if you must think, consider your weightlessness and that carefree feeling. This may not be easy, as thoughts of the bills or other concerns will return. Thoughts of ‘I can’t pay the rent’ or ‘That bill will not get paid this month’ or perhaps it is a relationship that has you concerned.  You MUST quickly deflect them. What I say to myself to deflect my concerns, is ‘I could go down that route and thinking about that bill (or any other concerns I may have), or I could return to my weightlessness’. I also acknowledge that I may not have the money in my bank at the moment to pay the bill, BUT, and it’s a BIG BUT….. It (the concern) will sort itself out, or the money is going to come in. I DO NOT begin to work out HOW it is all going to work out. I just believe, trust that it will get sorted.

I have learnt that it is a waste of time worrying about things I cannot change. If I could change the situation right now, I would. I would pay that bill. So for right now, the best thing I can do is know that God, The universe, Source will sort it out. Notice I did not say ‘I will let them, it, S/he sort it out. I said I KNOW it will be sorted. It is the feelings of knowing, that gets the job done every-time. When you believe, trust and leave it to the unseen forces to sort out, the outcome can only be favourable for you.

For me, there appears to be FOUR Steps. Here’s an example using a bill.

1 – I begin to think of a £100.00 bill.

2 – I know there is not £100.00 in my current account to pay this bill.

3 – I then remember that I have £100 in my savings account.

4 – I have to go to the bank and ask for the money to be transferred to my bill.

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So you have a concern (number 1), then (number 2), you become specific about the concern. Number 3 is remembering that there is a place (Savings account) that holds all that you want and need, that weightlessness state. (Number 4) You TRUST/KNOW/BELIEVE that the concern will be dealt with, and set about relinquishing the concern.

In the past I found number 4 difficult. The letting go of the concern. I found myself trying to work out, how my issue should be dealt with. There was nothing wrong with conjuring up good scenarios for the outcome of my problem, but to spend any time trying to work out HOW my concern should be resolved, proved that I had not fully relinquished the issue. For this to work you need to follow the process. Be specific, this could be all your bills, remember you have a place where you can leave your concerns, then know that it will be dealt with and walk away….leave it alone. This is how the best outcomes are achieved. Walking away may lead to a friend offering you the exact amount of money needed, or on calling the company you owe the money to, they tell you that your account will be put on hold for 30 days, giving you time to come up with the money. You may find that an outstanding invoice is paid to you, allowing you to pay the bill. There are any number of great outcomes to your concern. Using this method, you will have no need to come up with one yourself. Continue with your day, doing whatever you feel you need to do regarding your bill. For example you have had a bill for 20 days and the company has sent you a letter asking you to contact them, as you have relinquished the outcome for this bill, call the company and explain your situation.

It would be great to tell you, that all thoughts of the bill or issues will leave you. That is not the case, especially if you alone are responsible for paying the bill or responsible for sorting out the issue that has arisen. When thoughts of the bill come up, repeat step 3 (remember you have a place you can leave it) Let me know how you get on  

Now it is important to have your feelings in check. One could have financial concerns, relationship concerns, work related issues all at once. How can one become specific in this situation? Your mind will help you find your worst issue, by ensuring you think of all your concerns, all the time. You will find that you think of nothing else, that is, the bill you can’t pay, the issues at work, the problems with your family members, you will go on and on. How can you possibly decide on one issue over another, in-order to complete number 2 of the process? Constantly thinking about your many issues will keep you in a Negative state. Remember what you think about you bring about. In order to request a peace of mind, which will ensure all your concerns are taken care of….You simply say and trust that ‘EVERYTHING is working in my favour, Everything is working with my best interest in mind, Everything is working for my Good’. You just completed the four steps in one sentence. This is you being specific (Everything) you have remembered you have a place to leave your concern and you have left it at the doorstep. “Everything will get sorted”, then get to stepping.

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How much trust do you have in what you have just read  If you trust it will work for you and follow the steps. It will work for you. If you do not believe it will work, then it will not work. The process can be difficult at first, but if you re-train your thoughts you will be surprised at the results. I would be grateful for any feedback. Please let me know how you got on.

This is more than just going to your happy place, when you have to do something you don’t want to do. This is trusting knowing, believing that you have a place, deep down inside of you that will get things sorted one way or another, and the outcome is for your benefit. As everything is working for your good, everything is working in your best interest.

How do you deal with critiques that say things work out themselves anyway? If you do not pay a bill and do not call the company you owe the money to, they may send the bailiff to your home. If you call the company they may give you 30 days grace anyway? Everything works itself out.

My answer to that is, there are two ways of getting things sorted out or for a concern to come to a conclusion. One, do nothing, but worry about your concerns, conjuring up all the awful things that can happen to you. Feeling the shame and embarrassment at having to call the debt company or having to deal with a bailiff. The constant worry of your relationship and what the other people or person could be doing or saying behind your back. The concerns of working where you do and the people there. Remember these thoughts will go around and around your mind throughout the day and everyday until it is solved. If you are anything like me, while I have these thoughts swirling around and around my head, I have had to get on with my daily life, either caring for my house hold or patients at my place of work. All the time trying my hardest to not present as upset, smiling and outwardly pleasant while suppressing what is really going on. This is one way of doing things or accepting that you have an issue or concerns.

The other way is taking a four step process and believing it will work. It will cut out the torment you put yourself through. It will ensure that you get an amicable outcome to your issues. It will alleviate stress in your body, It will stop the worrying about every phone call or knock at the door. These things will be eliminated. So which way do you choose to deal with a concern or issue?

Trust, we all put our trust in many things, organisations and people throughout our life time. We may not even be aware of the amount of trust we put in the hands of others, we often believe that we have made informed decisions when buying something and trusting that it will look, taste, feel or be good. Without much thought, as adults we trust that we will be able to get up, get dressed and preform all our daily tasks. We make trusted decisions every second, we have to, in-order to keep safe and survive. As we go through life we encounter issues, concerns or problems, these are often dealt with, to mention a few,  by talking to someone who can offer help or advice about the issue, by changing behaviours, taking medication or getting more money. But there are times when we know what is needed but do not have the means or feel we are able to get it.

Having the affliction of Proud, I would not ask anyone I knew for help, so would call the companies I owe money to and say that I could not afford this months’ payment, making arrangements to pay but defaulting, as I had not got a new job in time to keep to the payment plan made. After making these plans to pay. I would agonise over the fact that I did not and probably will not, be able to come up with the money owed. This was made worst by having a bailiff knock on my door, in full view of my neighbours. Then I found that I could stress less by either putting all my issues in a bundle and leaving them at the doorstep of my soul, or place them there one by one and walk away, knowing that they would get sorted. Manna would not fall from haven, but I would get the answer or the money to solve my issue. I also knew that whatever happened after walking away from my issues, would be with my best interest in mind. As adults, some of us don’t often get the privilege to walk away from problems and know without a shadow of a doubt that they would be solved. So being able to use this four step system to solve my issues was and still is a God sent!


11th June 2018

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Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 KJV

What are you afraid of ?

Not having enough? Not being enough? Maybe your fear is around a person or people!

Whatever your fear, it conjures up the same feelings every-time. Have you considered how often you are in fear?

Fear is a feeling. One may feel fear for a multitude of reasons.

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We are aware that once the body dictates fear it starts to produce hormones which will enable you to fight or run. Fear has its benefits as it is there to ensure we remain safe and or survive. When we look back on our lives, we may be able to remember the few times when being afraid served a purpose. Why then, is it so prevalent in our lives? Why do we conjure up or awaken our fear receptors when we are going to be late? Or when we feel we may have forgotten something? We do not act on every feeling or thought we have, so why do we become fearful of things that has not happened? We know by now, that if we think of a thing long enough we will bring it into existence. Most of the time when we evoke fear, it is often about a future perceived threat, a situation that was never going to happen. Parents are good at this, we will conjure up all types of scenarios when our teenager is late home. We pace the floor, waiting for a phone call to say that they are ok or have reached their destination.

In this blog, I will look at how often we allow fear to impede our life. The effects of reaching for fear instead of another form of ‘to do in the case of’!

In this blog I will not be talking about, (Please note this list is in no particular order) the fear my ancestors faced of being caught as runaway slaves, the fear some women face of being labelled an adulterer and stoned to death, or the others who faced being  branded a witch and brunt at the stake. I will not be talking about the fear many men and women felt and feel as they go to war or the many citizens who lived and live in war torn countries.

I will not talk about the fear many parents feel when they send their children to the shops or even off to school, as there is a great threat of violence from others or the people they see as the authority. Imagine hoping your children will return home alive and well! I will not talk about the fear some adults feel as they go to work to be bullied by peers or bosses, with thoughts of ‘I have no choice, but to remain in this job as the wage pays the bills for my house hold, plus helps my young relative go to school and my aging parent’. I will not speak of the spouse that dreads their partner coming home from work, hoping that they had had a ‘good’ day, because if that is not the case, the evening will be filled with hostility. I will not go into the fears of a child who loathe ‘night time’! Or the dog who cowers as its owner approaches.

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What difference does it make between your life being threatened or you feel that you are going to fail the exam paper that is in-front of you? Your body reacts in the same way, in both situations.  If you have read my blog Patience notes in which notes are made about our hormones, Adrenaline, Norepinephrine, Cortisol and the part they play as we become frighten, scared, fearful or even worried. Have you considered how many times a day you put your body through a flood of hormones, all rushing through your blood stream all trying to help you fight or flee?

Do you put yourself through anxiety, rushing to get out the house in the morning. On the way to work, are hormones preparing you to ‘leg it’? Perhaps your levels are heightened during work or is it when you return home? I am not about to give you a scenario, but consider this. A few weeks ago I took a course, the pass mark was 70% as I sat looking at the first question, my stomach began to churn, I didn’t know the answer to the first question. I wasted time trying to get pass the first question, although we had all been told that we should go to the questions that we can answer and those that would generate a larger mark than the ones that carried 1 mark if answered correctly. I agonised over this first question as my OCD wouldn’t allow me to get past it without an answer. After writing something, I went on to the other questions, answering 20 of the 59 questions on the paper. Then the invigilator announces ‘You are at the half way point’ Jesus! I begin to feel physically sick, I became hot, my hands became sweaty. I just wanted to get up and leave the room. I felt I had failed and I was never going to get through the remaining questions on this paper, in the allotted time. My saving grace was a small voice in my ear saying ‘Just carry on’ so I turned the page and found that the questions there were multiple choice and quicker to answer. Needless to say I stayed until the end of the exam. The results would not be in until the next day and a chance to resit if you failed. At the end of the exam I wondered why I was putting myself through this torment, then realized that it was a means to an end and noted that if it was not meant to be, then God would have something better for my life. At that point I became somewhat calmer. The results came in and I passed at 80%. I am not suggesting that one compares the fear felt from running for your life to an exam invigilator stating you are at a half way point. However I know that my body was unable to distinguish between the two as it deplored the hormones that would enable me to ‘run’. The difference can be found in how you deal with each episode. For me, after the exam, my anxiety lessened but I stayed on high alert until the results were in, after which my body felt a sigh of relief. I felt tired, I felt as if I had been in a 10k race and had just passed the finish line. Thinking back on my exam experience I now feel calm, and I am sure it will not have any lasting effect or ill effect on my life.

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How often do you put yourself through a 10k race? How often do you push your body into flight or fight mode? How do you feel after the event? And was it really worth it? What are your fears today? You need to consider how often you invite fear into your life! Is it when you are rushing to leave the house or to catch the right train? Maybe it is when you worry about paying the bills or buy enough food. Perhaps it is when you think of how you are going to be viewed by others? Or even whether you will pass a test. Non of those? Maybe its something more serious, like where you are going to live if you get evicted? Or what will happen if your relationship with your partner breaks down. Do you realize that all the above have a GET OUT CLAUSE?....Here it is…….’I will do what I can in this situation, what I can not do, will have to play out how it plays out’. Do you believe this?

Take the leaving the house on time, you can and should get up earlier. The train you have to catch would be waiting for you or you it, to arrive. For the bills you may have to read ‘Trust’ ( This we know works for evictions, relationships, bills and even exams. OK, if we know this, why do we not trust what we can change, and leave what we cannot to a higher force or the universe.

How much does fear play a part in your everyday life?

Do you realize that whilst fear is dominate in your life, you are not at your optimum, you are missing out on the gifts the universe wants to send you. Being bugged down with fear, you miss out on messages to enhance your life, you live in a world of what IF’S. What if this happens or what if that happens. When you live in fear you don’t see the world as God has intended you to see or live it.

Whilst in fear you allow it to become your GOD (too deep for you?) Lets explore that. The belief in an entity or a God will take over your whole life, you obey its rules, your mind body and soul tells you what you are doing right or what you are doing wrong, in line with the rules. Here are the rules of fear. [You will either allow me to scare you or help you, sometimes I will use both]. Is that not your relationship with fear? We make fear our go to place when things are not working out well for us. We listen to it’s quiet small fear-voice that tells us what, when and how things are going to happen. This Fear-God will play out whole sad scenarios ending with our demise. Like most things, there are two parts to the entity we call Fear. The fear that is all great and good, gets you out of bad situations and saves your life. (The fear response serves survival by generating appropriate behavioural responses, so it has been preserved throughout evolution." –Wikipedia) Here, fear will use your intuition to tell you what to do and what not to do. This part of fear will push you to do things you have never done before e.g that interview for a job you know you did not have the qualifications for, but knew you could do it. This part of fear will push you to step off on faith and reap the rewards. This part of fear will guide you to a better you, you begin to face what you fear, realizing that the world will not stop spinning and you will be alright at the end of it, you emerge a stronger better equipped you. Remember that situation where you thought you would never cope? You copped! You are here reading this. That was fear pulling you through its motions (scare you to help you). You met fear on the way into the situation, you faced fear while you was in the situation and you came out of the situation leaving fear behind. Then there is the fear that will have you pacing the floor and playing out sad scenarios, whilst your body shuts off the need to sleep, eat or accept rational thoughts.(scaring you) Fear will always have you DOING something, being anxious springs to mind! Fear does not have you feeling peaceful or in a meditative state. Fear does not involve constantly being good to others. Fear is a selfish entity, fear is all about you.

Neale Donald Walsh (Author of Conversations with God) claims that fear is the energy which contracts, close down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards or harm. Think of all the many issues in the world, where fear has caused havoc! Why would you waste time allowing fear to dictate how you feel? What a way to live. Take control of your thoughts, fear is like a blanket, it will cover you if you let it. Notice when this blanket is overshadowing your thoughts, acknowledge that you are beginning to feel fearful and STOP IT. Dismiss the fearful thoughts and conjure up good scenarios to your situation, do not allow fear to gain momentum because it has a way of running away with your thoughts. Easy for me to say! I have been so bogged down by debt, that I believed that the bailiff would arrive at my house with the police and finding that I cannot pay the debt would take me away to prison. I could see my children crying and our lives falling apart. I have learnt that I must do what I can do about any situation, and leave the rest to God, the universe or higher force. I have realized that I am protected by God and he only wants the best for me. I know that everything happens for a reason, and with my best interest in mind. Please take control of your life. We all get down every now and then, there will always be situations that takes all your strength to get over. DO NOT let fear take over. Fear has it’s purpose and we should utilise its good part. Fear will always have you doing something, just be aware that when it has you playing out sad bad scenarios, you are to STOP IT, talk yourself out of this type of fear.

How prevalent is fear in your life? After reading this blog, have you become aware of the amount of time you put your body though the flight or fight routine? Have you re-called the few times fear actually had a real purpose in your life?

One cannot help stressing about situations we sometimes find ourselves in, but to allow fear to develop momentum and engulf the situation is counter-productive. It is easy for someone to tell you to snap out of it, when it isn’t their child that is two hours late getting home. What I am suggesting is, do not be dragged along a pathway of bad scenarios. My bad scenario had me locked up in prison for non-payment of a tax bill. Nothing was further from the truth, no one was going to lock me up, they just wanted me to let them know when I would be able to pay the money I owed. I was even offered the option of instalments. Following fear down its spiral staircase to depression serves you no purpose. Fear is often followed like a Messiah, Buda or a God, listening to it’s small voice as it whispers one bad episode after another to a catastrophic outcome to your problem or situation. What you should be hearing are alarm bells and nothing else. It is at that point you should ground yourself, bring yourself back to reality, by telling yourself that what you are feeling right now is not helpful, consider your options, if there is something you can do, do it. Remember fears’ rules are here to scare you or help you which do you often choose.


28th July 2018

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15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise. Proverbs 12:15 King James Version (KJV)

What is Perception? Perception is the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. Perception is the way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted. Perception plays a large part in our waking lives. We use perception to make sense of the world we live in, we use perception in order to attend to our every-day duties. Without the use of perception, life may be difficult or challenging.

This blog aims to give you an insight into the ways we use perception in our every life, from waking to going to sleep.

In this blog you will become aware of how often you take your perceptions of  situations for granted, you will be made aware of the way perception is used to cause negativity in your life and show that a change in perception of any situation can  serve you in a positive way.

Let’s start this simple by giving you an example of how we take our perception for granted and often encourage little droplets of negativity into our lives:

A person trips over a stone, the observer says, ‘What’s wrong with him, can’t he see where he is going’? (the droplet of Negativity) The person who tripped, saw what looked like an heart shaped stone, staring too long at the stone as he was walking, made him trip over it.

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The observer perceived the situation differently to the person who tripped over the stone. Our perception of a situation or even the day ahead, can set us up for either positivity or negativity to enter our interactions, our situations or even our whole day.

We often use perception in-order to get though our day. We perceive, rising at the right time to begin our day, we plan or perceive the outcome of our day, putting in little scenarios here and there. For example, I need to leave work early today, in-order to catch the garage, for an oil change. We can be found perceiving the hell out of that trip to the garage. ‘ I am going to hit traffic on the way to the garage, when I  get there they are going to say that it’s too late to do the oil change, as they close in 30minutes. I will have to make another appointment, which has me leaving work early sometime next week’. For the purpose of this ‘going to the garage scenario’ we won’t go into what is perceived about having to ask the boss to leave early twice in one week….Back to the oil change. We tend to have at least two scenarios’ to any given situation.

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Here’s another for getting to the garage on time to have an oil change. The mechanic does the oil change but will tell you that several other things need work, they say they can do it while you wait.. As you have no idea what they are talking about or any back bone to say ‘No,  just the oil change please.’ You leave the garage £756.47 lighter and a little pissed off.

Scenario Three- As you have grown spiritually, you know you will get to the garage on time, as you are human you get a little rattled when you hit some traffic and have to phone the garage to say you are going to be 10 minutes late, but managed to get there on time. You have your oil change, no one tells you about any other issues with your car, you leave, all is well. These scenarios all started with your perceived ideas of ‘what is going to happen at the garage’

As mentioned above we perceive out comes all the time. It allows us to remember how to complete tasks. Wanting a cup a tea has us perceiving walking into the kitchen and putting the kettle on, finding a cup putting the tea in the cup. Depending on our preferences we add one or two other accompaniments and bingo….we have made a cup of tea. We then perceive where we will sit or stand to drink it. Perception is forward thinking. Perception is assumption, we assume things based on what we believe.

So our perception of the world we live in is based on what we see, what we believe, what we assume will happen and what we can control.

Hers’s an example…..I (believe) that there will be a world war III as there are so many countries at war with each other (see) there is nothing we can do to stop it (control)

To me, the above statement sounds like scenario two of the oil change saga. Again, in the back of your mind you know there’s another scenario, that of, Human beings are evolving, we are beginning to respect each other, yes there are wars but with more communication people will begin to come together and embrace  one another’s differences, be it cultural, religious or political.

We know that what we think about comes about, having knowledge of the Law Of Attraction. Why then has our perception of situations become so disjointed. We tend to have great perceptions of our loved ones’ lives, but, as soon as there is a problem, a controversial conversation or situation arises, that great perception of their life can change in a spilt second. Remember the parent pacing the floor because their teenager is two hours late home!…Our perception of their whole life is played out in our minds, before we see or hear from them. Isn’t it great that our quick thoughts don’t change situations, isn’t it great that we can bring our thoughts back to reality and realise that certain thoughts are just thoughts and can be banished as quickly as they entered our mind? So if our perception of the world we live in is based on what we see, believe or assume will happen, why do we not control what we can?  Why do we not control our thoughts?

Lets leave putting our world to rights for a while.

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Let’s apply my theory of perception to driving behind a slow driver …….what do you see--- Someone driving really slow. What do you believe? They are going to make you late, (and we know that can spiral into a whole day full of mishaps, if you give your mind half the chance). Your assumption - They can’t drive, they probably haven’t passed their test, they are going to stop in a minute and I’m going to bang into the back of them. (That alone can have your mind tail spinning into all sorts of scenarios) You have just ticked three of my perception theory boxes. What can you control in this situation? Yes you’ve got it, your thoughts. Having had all those thoughts regarding the slow driver running through your mind, could have you trying to over-take this car into oncoming traffic! (Control)

What if I told you that the driver in-front had just received a call from a friend, who asked to be picked up from an address, as they were unable to drive because of a serious incident. The friend who was worried and not knowing the area , is trying to find number 105 on the street you end up travelling down, unfortunately for you, behind them. Has your perception of the driver changed? See how easily you can change your perception of a situation by controlling what you think?

The examples above are to make you aware of how you see things, and just how easily you can take control of your thoughts, you really don’t have to react to everything you see. The examples above are to prompt you to STOP and view what you see in a different light to how it is presented. In fact they are to remind you to react to every situation with positivity.

Life can sometimes have you seeing things, situations or issues in a light that does not exists . How did you view the last issue you had to deal with? Did your perception of the situation have you worried, scared or in fear? How did the issue or situation pan out? Was your perception of the outcome correct? Perhaps there were elements of your perception that was right? Be honest here. Did you have two perceived outcomes?  Our perceptions of situations, and people gives us permission or direction of how to act or react. ((((((We are aware of the many people who have been shot dead because the person holding the gun perceived the situation as hostile and one that threatened their life, as the perception gave them permission to save their life, they shoot))))) The example above may be a little extreme but consider your life and try and remember the many times that your perception of a situation gave you permission to act or react a certain way. I am here you tell you to think twice, we know that we often get at least two scenario’s to every situation. Spending time to step back and become aware of your thoughts will give you time to decide on the best possible outcome. That outcome will always always have you less stressed, stepping back will give you time to conquer up a good scenario to the situation, again what we think about comes about. Imagine the effort and time you’ll be putting into getting a good outcome to your situation. Imagine the amount of positive vibes you’ll be sending out to the universe, to God, regarding this situation! Now think of what you normally do!! Is there a light blub moment? We tend to send out negativity because of our perception, then wonder why things didn’t turn out better.

“A lot of the pain we are dealing with are really only thoughts” This quote sums up how we often use perception to give us permission to worry, in doing so we take comfort in the knowledge that we are doing something whilst in a situation that is uncomfortable. Our perception should always be of a good, if not great outcome to any uncomfortable situation.

Now I could use this part of the blog to talk about some of the people who fought through, in the face of adversity to victory. Three springs to mind from the bible:

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Daniel in the lions’ den

David in front of goliath


Job who lost his family, his health and all his wealth.

They did not have to use my two scenario theory there. The perceived outcome for all three of these men was death. Non of them busied themselves with worry or just laid down and died. They all could see something beyond their perceived fate. Do you ever look beyond your perceived situations?  Can you name a few of our modern day heroes or heiresses that looked beyond their perceived fate…Of course you can, but as you know I like to bring my blogs back a little closer to home. As parents some of us have had no choice but to look pass our perceived fate and deal with uncomfortable, sometimes devastating situations, while the effects of adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine run through our bodies. Did you know that you have the ability to deal with every situation in your life with a well thought out strategy? We have spoken about knowing that you have a ‘place’ to leave your problems in ‘trust’ that strategy gives you FOUR STEPS. Here all you have to do is perceive a great outcome to your situation. mmmmmm I hear you sigh, not all situations turn out good or great even if you sat there are willed it to. I appreciate that statement. I find that even with all the will in the world, things are gonna turn out how they are gonna turn out…All I can do is wish it well, good or great. Not sit around and worry or stress over it. I now know that everything is working for my good, somewhere in this ‘situation’ I will gain something…..That something could be a lesson or a prize, either way I gain.

We can all think of situations that we have been in, at the time appeared daunting, from a loss of a job to the breakup of a relationship. We may be able to look back at that time and say, it was a blessing, because I went on to do this or be with this person. Now consider how less stressful that situation would be, if you had decided at the beginning that, the situation is sad but, what is meant to be will be, if there is anything I could have done to change the situation I would have. Imagine looking pass the perceived outcome and conquering up a good one.

So the next time you have a situation that presents as a challenge, what will you do? Well, you’ll probably quickly think up two scenarios or outcomes to the situation, based on what you see, believe and assume will happen. Having read this blog, you know that the fourth element of perceiving an outcome is ’control’. Why not start with control and decide to conquer up a positive conclusion to the situation, as you spend time thinking of a good or great outcome, you will be sending out positive vibes to the universe, telling God that this is what you would prefer, try it. You have been doing the alternative for years. My way puts you in the ‘all to gain’ category. You have nothing to lose.


28th August 2018

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. Isaiah 55:8 (KJV)

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How do you constantly deal with ‘it’s not going the way I’d planned’

How do you deal with the highs of expectation, the ‘Oh this is bound to work, it’s a great idea. I could do this or that with the money from this venture, the kids would benefit.’ You may sit there and work out just how your life would be better if your latest venture to help yourself worked.  How do you cope when it doesn’t work? How do you deal with the constant set backs? Do you sit there thinking or saying ‘I tried and it didn’t work’? How many years are you going to dine out on that conversation?

What do you do when trying times is all the time?

You could look back and say maybe, I didn’t give it enough time to work, I would ask, what made you leave it? In my case it was often the threats of the bailiffs. I couldn’t cook up great ideas and ventures to feed my kids!

What about that Law of Attraction that you are often spouting, to that I say, hungry bellies only see and feel lack.

What do you say to the critics that say, if you’ve been given an idea, a job or opportunity, you are to pursue it. Yes I say, but you have to believe without doubt that it will work.

Looking back I’ve ventured into places with no experience, no money and no back up. I’m not saying that that was a recipe for disaster. I am saying that, if deep down you feel that this is not going to work fast enough to pay next months ‘ bills, you’ve already deemed the venture a failure.

Ok it appears that I have answers to all my failures…Maybe I do. Maybe I still hold a grudge for those things that didn’t work, as my life would have been very different if they did. Maybe what I thought was a failure actually served its purpose.

This blog aims to answer the question, why do my ventures fail. I will use word venture (something new) to mean a new job, a relationship or even a better way of life…In my case, venture as written here, often meant a new business idea. I will also use the word God/Universe to mean a higher force. Just a reminder here, I am calling a failure something that did not come to a satisfactory conclusion or one I had hoped for. Please be aware that all failures mentioned in this blog are failures I deemed failures. When attributing failures to your ventures, please ensure that you are the one who has decided the venture a failure. This blog is about what we class a failure and not what others may have deemed a failure.

According to The Collins English dictionary, ‘failure is a lack of success in doing or achieving something especially in relation to a particular activity’. Many of my ventures were classed as failures because I had ascribed a success quota to them.  What ventures have you undertaken in which you ascribed your own level of success to it? That could be a new job, any opportunity, a new relationship, a change in behaviour.

Before we delve into the hall of failures, I would like to mention, that if you feel that you are strongly drawn to an idea, ideally a passion, you should thrive to peruse it. I love to write and in the last three years I have written four books. However the sales have not rocketed to dizzy heights and what sales I have made, have not paid my mortgage, but it is something I do and would do for free. That may be the issue with my many failures. I have often set out to make money. I felt that it would be irresponsible of me if I walked around like a starving artist when I had others mouths to consider.

How are failed ventures managed in your life? Why do you think your ventures failed? Let’s try and find out.

Using two different coloured pens, use the first pen to write down five ventures you felt was a failure, leaving enough space to write underneath each venture. Using the other coloured pen, now write down why you felt the venture failed.

1 example: A book stall

I lost interest





Did you find a pattern? When I completed that task I found that I had written. ‘I couldn’t continue with the venture or opportunity, because it did not pay enough or quick enough’. I also wrote ‘I did not spend enough time with the venture, as I abandoned it to seek paid employment’. My main pattern was ‘I couldn’t stay’. I couldn’t stay at that job, I couldn’t spend any-more time at that venture. I couldn’t or wouldn’t stay. (Sounds like I’m always running! Maybe that’s something for my therapist) What patterns came up for you? Consider your patterns and if you feel a change is needed, make that change.

When you look back on what you class as failures, how do you feel about them? Are any of those ventures keeping you in a lack mind-set? I ask the question because I believe that all my failures have served a purpose. Maybe you found that you haven’t actually got over your last failure and you are hanging on to the failures as a crutch, perhaps like me, you wondered why you find yourself trying this, trying that, only to have to leave the venture, the job or opportunity for what you feel are feasible reasons.

I have often wondered why God/Universe had caused me to use the little money I had to pursue a venture, leaving me in a worse situation than when I started. I wondered why I was given the urge to try something new, after failing the last venture? I was and still believe that if I am given a sign to do something, I need to peruse it, hoping it will be fruitful. Maybe my faith wasn’t strong enough? I still believe that all my failed ventures were because I couldn’t and or wouldn’t stay. How do you feel about your failures? This is how I felt on the surface, ‘I am not winning, I am always failing, I am constantly trying to win and when will I win’? Then in the next breath I would have great enthusiasm about a new venture, I would be willing myself to win with the belief that I would win.

In reality this is what happened. Are you ready?

You are strong enough to conquer up the enthusiasm and willingness to start again, with the belief that you will win. You are also strong enough that, the minute you feel that you will fail, you fail. For me, it was that the venture was not bringing in enough money or produced the results needed quick enough.

The common dominator in your failures is YOU

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Let me explain. You have asked for something better, bigger or brand new to enter your life. You are that receptive, that you respond to the call to begin a new venture. By merely accepting the call to begin something new, proves that God/Universe has heard your call for something you want and will provide it. Think of it like a transaction. You ask for something, you are given it via the urge to start a new venture. That’s it.

I know you need more of an explanation and that you may be wondering, why then, if God/Universe has given me an idea to start a new venture, why did it fail? Why didn’t it bring in enough money, quick enough for the venture to be deemed a success?

YOU caused the block, the resistance, you stopped the win, you caused the failure. When I realised this fact, it surely was an eye opener. As mentioned above, you was strong or receptive enough to accept the call to start something new? Well you was strong enough to put a block on the new venture, you was strong enough to bring the ‘Its not going to work’ into play straight away. Remember, for anything to manifest, one needs to voice or think it,(say it or ask)  believe it and act. That action could have been something so simple as looking online at jobsites (action), with the secret ingredient – Detachment. (In my case, once I started looking for paid employment, I detached or put the business on hold) Have you ever seen The Law of Attraction work instantly? 

Here’s a couple of examples.

Example One:- I was at the airport after a long hurl flight- 9hours. There was several people waiting for their bags to come unto the carousel. One person could be seen pushing others out the way, trying to get what she felt was her box of rum, in fact it wasn’t her box. Seeing that it wasn’t her box, she dropped it on the carousel not caring whether she may have damaged the box or its content, whilst saying ‘I don’t want that’. The person behind her whose box it was, missed the chance to collect it and had to wait for it to come round again. Eventually she saw her box and managed to retrieve it. She then began to lift the six bottled rum carrier unto her suitcase, as she turned to walk away the carrier fell breaking all six bottles of rum.

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The lady pushing to get her bottles of rum, wanted something, she knew she would get it (her bottles) she acted on her belief, by attempting to collect what she thought was hers. On finding out that this bottle carrier was not hers, she quickly made a statement ‘I don’t want that’ and detached herself from the bottles. The Universe hears what she said, looked for action, belief and detachment and grants her wish. When bottles of rum come round the carousel and she retrieves it, the universe knows that she doesn’t ‘want that’ so ensure she doesn’t have it.

I have done the same thing with new ventures, I am enthusiastic and set about trying to make it work (action and belief). When the attached outcome appear far off, I put in another request, albeit subconsciously. ‘ This isn’t going to work’ (belief) I then reinforce this by my (actions). I look for paid employment. Here’s what sealed its fate…..I detach myself from the outcome…I know it’s going to fail, why would I work out just how it is going to fail? I added detachment to the mix and hey pesto it fails.

Example Two:- I recently watched a programme in which contestants were given a certain amount of money to buy material, in-order to make an outfit which would then be judged. When told the amount they would be given for this task, one of the contestants immediately said $100 isn’t enough. The camera then switched to their trip to the material shop, that one contestant could be seen frantically looking for something….she had lost her $100 and had to ask the other contestants if she could use their change from their $100 if they had any.

What did the Universe see and hear? …. I don’t want $100, her action would be, her dismissal of the $100 and her belief that the money would not buy what she needed. She then detached herself from the money and what it could buy.

The Secret Ingredient – Detachment

If you was to start a venture ‘knowing it is going to work’, realising that you are not in the drivers’ seat (detaching from the outcome) continue doing what you can to aid it’s survival, maybe your ventures would have worked. I am not trying to turn this blog into a Law of Attraction rant, but this is the reason the ventures did not work.

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So how do you ensure that every venture you start is a winner? Here’s how you do it. As mentioned above you have been given the urge to start something new. Start your venture, without the baggage. Know that what you have entered into is going to do what it is meant to do. As we expect a successful outcome, we often attach, money, a new car, a new house, new clothes, payments for bills. In relationship, we may expect marriage or children. DON’T DO THAT- It is important that you believe that the venture will do what it is meant to do. The venture may only be given to you to teach you something, which will lead to you getting what you wished for. Again, as we are human, we will be expecting something from the venture, there’s nothing wrong with that, what you MUST NOT DO is dictate HOW your wishes are to be granted.

I would often take pleasure in writing down ‘If I sell 200 items I would make £2,000.00, If I offer this many services, I would make that amount’ Not a good idea. Remember when you initially made your wishes known to God/Universe, you got confirmation that your wishes were heard and granted by responding to the urge to start something new. Do not start dictating to God/Universe how to make the wish come true, by giving instructions as to how many sales you need to make so you will be able to pay next months’ rent. DON’T DO IT.  You have been given the urge to start a new venture, leave it at that. Your job is to just do it, that’s it.

You have asked for a new car and a bigger house, then you land a new job. Be assured that the new job was the answers to your wish, you are to enjoy being at this new job, you are to give thanks that your wish for a new car and bigger house has been granted….What you will find, is your manager gives you a company car, or your financial welcome package may be enough for a new car. Either way you have asked and it will be given. Your new job may have been given to you in-order to meet someone who will offer you a promotion in a different town, the earnings may be less, but it comes with a house and car! For me, it does not make sense attaching your new car to the wage of your new venture, when your car and house could be coming from another avenue connected to the new job. Has the penny dropped? It certainly has for me. I realised that my ventures were attached to a goal, that goal was money. I had decided that the money I would earn from the venture would pay my debts, feed my children and keep the roof over our heads. I ‘needed’ the venture to produce a certain amount of money. I focused on what I ‘needed’. What happens when you focus on something? What you think about, comes about. So I had a double loss, it would appear that my venture was destined to fail from the onset. One – I attached a goal to my venture. Two – I dictated that God/Universe should ensure that I make a certain amount of sales. I also continued to focus on why I needed the money and the lack thereof. All of which ensured my failure. Oh my Gosh! That is really why my ventures failed.

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Do you realise that your given ventures, far weigh the things you have asked for? Do you realise that your given ventures, keep working for you years after you have forgotten why or what you asked for? We know that everything happens for a reason. I remember when I first moved to a new town, I was urged to get involved in the community, so looked for groups that would allow me to do just that. I found a ‘womans’ group which set out to help isolated people in the community. Looking back, the things I gained from that group was, finding out how many people in that community suffered from mental health issues, knowledge of the Social enterprise system. A government system set up for getting funding for a new social or non for profit enterprise and one friend. This one friend, have enabled me to earn thousands of pounds, today I am still earning money through her contacts. Several years after attending that group I have set up a 24 hour help phone line for people with mental health issues. That venture, for me, at the time turned out to be a failure which caused me to leave the group. That one venture had and even today has the potential to touch many peoples’ lives. Can you see why you don’t attach an outcome to a given venture, what God/Universe can wish for you is larger than you can think or wish for yourself. By attaching the payment of one or two bills to a new venture, limits your ability to have more than you can give yourself via a wage package.

We started this blog, asking how do you feel having setbacks all the time. How do you cope with failing at each venture, wondering when you’ll win. I asked you to write down at least five things you felt you failed at, then with a different coloured pen, write down why you felt you failed. I had found a pattern when I did the task, it was I couldn’t stay, so I didn’t stay. I would seek paid employment, often these jobs, wouldn’t pay for at least eight weeks. During this time, the bills would pile up which was followed by letters and calls from my creditors. Looking back we could see why ventures failed and how quickly the fail signal is sent and received when the secret ingredient detachment is used.

Moving forward, I gave you steps to ensure your ventures win every time. That is, never attach anything to the outcome of the venture you have been given. Because as you spend time sewing lack into your venture you cause more of what you don’t want and limit the gifts that was meant be yours. The mere fact that you had been given the urge to begin something new, should have been your answer that you wish had been heard and answered.


30th September 2018

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. Rom 12:3 KJV

Some of the thoughts we have are Ego in origin. Dr Deepak Chopra suggests that the average adult has approximately 60,000 separate thoughts in a 24- hour period. We think the same 60,000 thoughts today that we had yesterday and will have tomorrow.

The Cambridge English Dictionary states that the Ego is your idea of yourself, especially your feelings on your own importance and ability.

According to Freud 1923, P25 – The ego is ‘that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world’

Freud believed that there are three parts of the human psyche or personality. The id which is primitive and instinctual desires or wishes. Self gratification . The super ego incorporates the values and morals of society which are learnt from ones’ parents and others. The ego is the go between, the id and superego. That of, primitive need for self gratification and consciousness which is judgement, tolerance and control.

You may be asking, why should we talk about the Ego on a blog that deals with the Soul. Well, the ego is a part of you. The ego communicates through your thoughts. This blog will alert you to some of the thoughts you thought were all you, when really, it was the ego talking.

Sometimes you can hear ego talking when you say to yourself ‘I wonder if they liked me? I wonder what they thought of me? Perhaps you hear ‘ if I had a better…....they would think differently about me’.

It is nice to be liked and we all wonder, from time to time, how people view us, however we have to make sure that these thoughts are fleeting ones.

We are aware of Negative self talk, the ego can be is very stable, dropping little negative comments in here and there, however the Ego has its reasons.

Ego says, no you’re not good enough

Ego says, don’t let them get away with talking to you like that. Let them have a piece of your mind (the ego mind)

Ego says you really don’t look the part, stay home.

Ego belief, according to Wayne Dyer is:

I am what I have

I am what I do

I am what people think of me

I am separate from everybody else

I am separate from everything missing from my life.

I am separate from God.

Let’s describe The Ego, so you realise when it is speaking.

We know the Ego sits between (the id) primitive needs and a more moral, tolerant want of the superego. According to Freud the Ego begins to develop at the age of three years old. I propose you consider ego as an immature entity with a big head.

Let’s call him Heady.

Immature Heady sees itself as the big I AM. Heady the Ego is self-absorbed, conceited, an entity that believes it is the labels others place on it. The Ego is self preserving. It will try and keep things how they are. In doing so, its aim is to keep you alive. For Heady, there is no need for change. The Ego has kept you alive thus far and things appear to be working. Heady understands there is no need to change ANYTHING if it’s working, however if the change involves you impressing others, the Ego will be all for that.

Think for a minute about leaving your job and following your passion….Did Heady appear?  What did it say? I can imagine it saying ‘don’t be silly, how you gonna pay the rent?’ Remember, The Ego is ‘what I have’. Starting a new venture may leave it with less than it has. To the Ego, leaving a dental practice to become a black smith (your passion) will hear the Ego shouting ‘What a black smith, instead of a dentist. A dentist is much more known, than a black smith. Remember the Ego is what ‘it’ does for a living and what other people may think of it.

The Ego will keep you where you are in life, as change may take you to a place ‘less than’ where you are at the moment. Do you know anyone who has been in a job for over ten years, they don’t really like going to this place of work, but they will not leave? There may be a myriad of reasons, one may stay at a place of work that they do not like. I propose one reason could be self-esteem. This person may say ‘the job is something I know, it is something I have been doing for a long time.’ Maybe their reason for staying could be ‘I’m comfortable here.’ But you can be assured that Heady the Ego will play a large part in keeping that person in that place of work. Their Ego may say ‘you’ll have to get to know new people if you leave’. Perhaps they will hear ‘ You won’t like the people at your new job, they may not like you.’ Heady may go on to alert them to the fact that, they may find the new job difficult, and people will think they are not as intelligent as they are. There are many different things the Ego will come up with, in-order to keep you where you are, keep you stuck and stagnant. In doing this the Ego will keep you ‘safe’ from any mental upheaval. The Ego shy’s away from anything that may make it come across as inferior to its environment. That is why the Ego lives in your comfort zone. The Ego is here to maintain your current equilibrium. Where do you feel stuck in your life? When was the last time you stayed in or tolerated a situation or person, because ‘Its just how things are’?  Can you see the part Ego plays in your life? What part of your life have you relied on what others may say or think as opposed to your own thoughts on the matter? That was Ego again. I am not suggesting that one should not listen to the Ego? Not at all. My aim is to make you aware of the Egos’ role and part it plays in your life.

As human beings we, according to Freud, have the id (primitive needs) and the super ego, which deals with a more moral aspect of our thoughts. As mentioned above, the Ego sits between the two. One would not feel settled if you didn’t have consistency, it would be rather dull life, if we weren’t silly every now and again. Life would also be dangerous if we didn’t have a moral code. Being aware of where your thoughts originate allows you to live a life with less, doubt, lack, fear and worry. As we have to live with an Ego, the art is learning when to quiet it.

Try this exercise. Think back on your last 24hours, try and find incidents when you acted with Ego. Is it something you said? Something you did? Or maybe something you thought of saying or doing?

If you cannot remember, consider your thoughts for the last 24 hours. Let me know what you found With 60,000.00 separate thoughts going through our mind everyday, some of those thoughts will be Ego in origin. The next time you have a thought, challenge it. Say to yourself, is this really my own thoughts, or do they sound like Heady the Ego?

What is the next issue or problem you have to deal with? What are your main thoughts on the issue? Is it positive or negative? Rational or irrational? Do they have a dependency on what others may say or think? Do you find yourself considering whether to leave or stay in your comfort zone? Ego may be playing a large part in your decision making process.

A person who lives their life based on an Ego mind will find their decisions are made up of what others may say, and have superficial ideals. This person may appear selfish as the world revolves around them, their friendship with you is based on what you can do for them. Who is this in your life? Perhaps its you!

Ego believes it is separate from everything…from source, from other people. It alone exists, so for the ego, you are alone, and you need things and other peoples’ views to validate your existence.  Remember your thoughts of ‘what will this or that person think’ That was Ego. Maybe you have had thoughts of ‘You can’t possible think you can make that change’? You may have wondered why you have been having those ego thoughts? The reason is, the change may turn out to be a failure, then you can only imagine what people are going to say? The Ego also feels that you may lose the things you have. So stay where you are and don’t change anything, ANYTHING. The Ego works on the premise of selfishness.  Your thoughts may be ‘I need to leave this bad relationship’ (Ego… won’t find another partner) other thoughts may be ‘I want to lose weight’ (Ego….It’s going to be hard, you may fail) or perhaps ‘I want to buy another pair of shoes, although I know I shouldn’t as I have bills to pay’ (Ego….But you’ll look good in them) The Ego is superficial, immature, selfish and really a little ‘Stewey’. Would you allow a three year old to run your life? That’s what you do when you allow your Ego to get the better of you. I understand that we don’t act on the every thought that run though our minds. However, some of our actions are based on the mind of a pre-schooler. How many of your friends or family members do you see as little Ego’s running around in adult bodies? Nothing wrong with being a little childish sometimes, but how often does that childish mind-set surface in your life? maybe it is around a certain topic, situation or person! The Ego serves a purpose, it can keep morale high, it can aid us when we feel a little lost, but The Ego also has the ability to have us feeling low, stagnant and hampering after other peoples’ opinion on decisions that should be our own. You are not what you have, do or what other people think of you. You are not out on a limb and separate from the ‘things’ you don’t have in your life. You should be aware that you create the life you want to live, by using moral judgements whilst fulfilling your needs and desires primitive or otherwise.




1stNovember 2018

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Have you ever walked into a room full of people and felt uneasy? No not the type of uneasy, that you get when you enter a room of people you don’t know…This is different, it’s often a feeling you can’t explain.

Have you been around a friend or family member that made you feel uneasy, for no logical reason?

Have you ever had a sense that the person talking to you is lying?

Is there someone in your life that presses your buttons? Just by being near them?

Ever had the feeling that it’s time to leave that job, that relationship, that situation?

Not only is your intuition telling you get out. Your Soul is unhappy and sending you signals. Often times, the above scenarios are just feelings, a feeling that you can’t articulate or put your finger on, you just know you feel uncomfortable.

This blog aims to make you aware of when and what makes your Soul feel uneasy, and the importance of keeping your Soul happy. When your Soul is happy, you feel content.

The Soul is the best part of us. It is Light, Goodness, Love, Peace, Pure. The list is endless. The Soul is everything that is Good. There are many names for this part of us, some people call it Source, Spirit, the place where God resides within us. The function of the Soul is to look after our well-being, keep us safe and on the right path for our lives.

Just as the body speaks to us, through how or what we are feeling, how well its parts are performing or whether they have stopped all together, the Soul speaks to us. The Soul speaks to us through intuition. Intuition is that small voice inside us that says “Don’t take that job” “Do go over there” “Don’t buy or eat that”. “Wait, Go, Stop” The Soul, like the body, needs to be or feel happy. Feel is the operative word here. When the Soul speaks directly to you, you feel it.

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When the Soul speaks to you directly you make comments like ‘I immediately felt at home’ The Soul felt at home. You may say ‘There was a feeling of doubt there’ The Soul felt doubt in that situation. Perhaps you have caught yourself saying ‘There was just something about him/her I didn’t trust’. That was the Soul feeling distrust.

I have found that as I have gotten older. I refuse to stay where I feel uncomfortable. I have often told my children. If you feel uncomfortable leave. This is why, when going out with friends, you carry with you ‘vex money’. Vex money, is fare home money.

I have spoken about keeping the soul happy in my blog Negative/Positive does it matter and the cues that we refuse to listen to, only to cause ourselves more stress and anxiety.

When your soul is unhappy you feel it. Often it is sometime after the event that we find out that our feelings, thoughts or gut feeling was right. The Soul is our inner compass steering us in the right direction and is never wrong. We live in a society that cause us stress, from needing to get to work on time to buying a house in ‘this economic climate’. We cannot avoid stress. What we can do to lesson the incidents that make us uneasy and ensure, as often as possible, we feel comfortable throughout our everyday activities. In doing this we stress less, make our lives easier and keep the Soul happy, which in turn makes us more pleasant to be around and like a chain, if you are happier, your household is happier, if your household is happy. The people you interact with outside your home become happier. Imagine what would happen if everyone was happier! You will have impacted the world! In order to lesson those uneasy feelings, we have to get our house in order, you have to clean and try to maintain the equilibrium.

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Let’s clean house, as a child and growing up in a Pentecostal church going household, Saturday was the day for cleaning house, the house needed to be spotlessly clean for Sunday. The day that we would attend church in the morning, come home for dinner sometimes with guests, then return for evening service. On Wednesday we would have prayer meetings, sometimes in the home of a parishioner. Throughout the week we would have church members visit our home with their woes and their need to for advice. Our house had to be kept clean and tidy as anyone could ‘drop’ by at any time.

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In order to reach, what Buddhism call Nirvana a place of perfect peace and happiness. There is a continually ‘house cleaning’, by following The eightfold path this is Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Concentration and Right Mindfulness. As this is a wheel so there is no 1st 2nd or 3rd step. One continually put these practices into action, everyday at every interaction at every second of ones day.

For the purposes of this blog we will use the way we feel as an indication of how well we have cleaned house, or whether we need to do another cycle!

To clean house I will start with the Feet.

Feet- Where do you go? Lets start with your place of work, I have spoken about going to a place of work that you don’t like and the effects of doing just that in my book ‘What Do You Do For A Living’,(2016) Angela Scott . How does it make you feel? Remember the Soul will let you know if it is unhappy by the way you feel. To ensure that you feel better about the place you work or the type of job you have. You will have to change anything that does not serve your Soul’s well-being. Seek out ways to make that change, only you will know what needs to be done.

Does your feet take you anywhere else, you really don’t want to go? How often do you go to a gathering that you really don’t want to attend? Every Sunday? Just asking! How do you feel while you are there? Is your Soul telling you something? Your reasons for attending are your own, but if it is making your Soul unhappy or uneasy…Should you still be putting in all that effort to be there? Your Soul has already spoken to you, and you know what needs to be done. No one said it was going to be easy. I am here to alert you to the fact that your Soul is trying to communicate something to you. What is it saying and will you adhered to it’s instructions.

Seat- Who do you take tea with? Does your life have you sitting with people you would rather not be around? Again, your Soul will let you know that you are at the wrong table. Take control of who you dine with, take tea with, have lunch with, go for drinks with. I value my time and who I eat with, so would not waste it sitting down with someone to nourish myself, if I felt uneasy around them. I do understand that you can’t help being seated beside a co-worker in the works restaurant or café . This is perhaps why I never attended work do’s….I always thought, ‘you’re ******y at work, what is going to make you any different when we are out?’ Back to choosing who you sit with or spend time with. Consider your reasons for sharing your time with a person or people that you feel uneasy around. What does your Soul, make of your decision to sit and break bread with them. Does it sit well with your Soul?

Mindful eating

If you are mindful of what you eat you will ensure that when you eat or drink with others, you are in the company of people with whom you and your spirit feel comfortable. Being aware of what you eat, will ensure you enjoy the actual act of eating. Take the time to appreciate your food, be mindful of where it comes from and what it took to reach your table.

In (Peace Is Every Step, 1990) Thich Nhat Hanh states, ‘If I offer you a freshly picked tangerine to enjoy, I think the degree to which you enjoy it will depend on your mindfulness. If you are free of worries and anxiety, you will enjoy it more’. Is your weight an issue? How do you use food? As a punishment or to nourish yourself? How do you feel after eating? Is there any sadness linked to eating? If you are sad, your Soul is sad too. You need to enjoy every aspect of your life, eating is a basic need. If there are concerns attached to eating, seek help

Private Area - Intimate relationships are those who are closest to us.

Your personal space.

Sexual Partner/s – Have you looked at your sexual relationship/s closely? Perhaps you feel that they are not important…. They are very important for obvious reasons. Sexual interactions have their own very powerful spiritual effects on the Soul. How do you feel about this part of your life? If things are great, no need to read further. If the sexual relationship/s you have entered into does not feel right, then it is not right, again only you will know what feels right or wrong to you. Do the right thing!...... We are cleaning house and you will have to clean under the bed as well as on top!

Immediate family.

Immediate family members can be a joy to your Soul, whether you have given birth to them or not, whether you are blood related or not. When I think of my own children, my grandson and Godchildren my soul fills with joy....(I’m smiling as I write these words). I think of the antics some of them got up to. I know that it is only by the grace of God that they are with me today. I love my children and grandchild. I know that I am privileged to be able to speak to all my children everyday, having conversation like ‘Mum I’m at the bus stop and it won’t arrive for 20 minutes, so I’ve called you to keep me company until it gets here’ to ‘I’ve met this girl and she said this……what do you think mum?’ I may get tears from one of my children then belly spiting laughter from  another, this can happen in the space of 40 minutes. I love my children, they bring me joy. However not all family members have this ability, some may press your buttons. This button presser could be your child or your partner.. …(I’m here to say what you won’t) You need to find out what it is about YOU that makes YOU feel the way you do about your partner or child…..If YOU are true to YOURSELF, YOU will know the answer to this question…Should you need professional help to find out…Go seek some…..We can discuss this further Acknowledge the feeling and change it. How can you project to the world that all is well, when at the foundation of your life (your home life) something is very wrong. Relationships outside the home may not have the ability to flourish if the ones inside have issues?

I realise that there are other close friends and family members that insist on being around you most of the time. How do you feel around certain members of your family? If it is unpleasant, then limit your time around them, yes you can do it. I understand that in family dynamics, one may have certain obligations and it is not my job to tell you what to do, you will need to find a way to ensure that you are in control of when, where and for how long you are around this person or people…Yes it’s as simple as that. When you have decided that you must be around this or these family members, prep yourself before meetings, decide that you will not be drawn into any negativity, decide that when the time is up, the time is up. You leave or you make your excuses not to be in conversation or any other interaction with this person. You will find that you will have to make some hard decisions, in-order to ensure that you are in control of your time. Choosing to be in the company of those who make you feel loved, is priceless and helps your Soul to feel happy.

Hands-What do you do, maybe for a living? We have covered that, but have you considered the TYPE of work you do, is it pleasing to your Soul? Or is there something telling you that you really shouldn’t be in that line of work….Perhaps there is a pull from within that says you should be vegan, yet you work in a abattoir!

What else do you do with your hands that goes against what you Soul tells you is not for you? Maybe you just know you shouldn’t be doing that? This could be that secret habit you indulge in!

John Wesley, in 1771 coined the phrase cleanliness is next to godliness, are your hands clean? (Metaphorically speaking) are you part taking in something you shouldn’t, even by association?  You already know what that is, your Soul would have let you know through the way you feel, before and after you have used your hands to do that thing that does not please your Soul.

What do you positively put your hands to? Is it giving to charity? Is that helping out a sick or elderly relative? How do you feel before choosing to help? Is your Soul happy with your offerings of generosity? I am guessing it is. Can you mention the words to describe your feelings when you help others? There maybe a sense of accomplishment, pride, appreciative, good, happy and all the other nice feelings that come with being of service.  I read a post that said:

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The more you do that makes your Soul happy the happier you will become.

Heart/health- Do you consider yourself healthy? And what has that got to do with the Soul? Well if you are constantly complaining (to your Soul) that you are ‘too’ fat, too slim, too tall, too short, or that you do not have a big enough this, or a small enough that, if it concerns you, it concerns the Soul. According to The BMI most people are ‘too’ something. Again do you consider yourself healthy? If not, do something about it. If you are a type of person who has ‘too’ issues, then you spend an awful lot of time wishing parts of your body was a different size or shape. What do you think your Soul makes of that? Happy or Sad? Fix it or live with …that’s it Amen. Your health is important so you should endeavour to care for it.. This is not the place to tell you what you should do and what you should not do, you should already know. There are some conditions that have ‘come upon us’, if that is the case, seek advice, work with your doctors or health care practitioner towards the best you, you can be….Being healthy, aids happiness people who are happy are more resistant to diseases ranging from the common cold to heart disease. (Shimoff, Marci. Happy for No Reason. Simon and Schuster, 2008) State that happiness has been shown to increase antibodies by as much as 50 percent, while stress and anxiety tend to make people more susceptible to sickness, including diabetes and stroke. (Cohen, Sheldon, PhD; et al. "Emotional Style and Susceptibility to the Common Cold." Psychosomatic Medicine. Nov. 2006.) 

Needless to say, that being healthy includes the heart. While we are here, what do you keep in your heart that shouldn’t be there? Who or what situation do you need to heal or forgive? Again this is not the place to delve into who or what you need to forgive….But remember that forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is for you! Forgiveness helps you move on with your life. Consider this, does the other person think about what they did to you, as often as you do? They may have just gotten on with their lives? Holding that person or situation in your heart, ensures that you are always carrying them around with you, you keep them close to you, they become a part of your life, they hinder you trying certain things, they stop you from enjoying things you would have ordinarily enjoyed…Help is at hand to aid the difficult process of forgiveness, in-order to forgive yourself, to forgive the situation and to forgive the person or people. .The Soul will bring up those situations, people or person, every now and again in-order for you to begin your healing process. Your memory does not work alone, how you feel about something that has happened or did not happen will determine whether you move forward (begin to heal) or whether you hold the thoughts tighter, closer to you. Forgiveness sets the Soul free, it will no longer have to feel burdened, it will no longer hurt every-time a certain song is played, an aroma is smelt, a date reaches its anniversary, a name is mentioned and so on.

Eyes, Ears and Tongue

Eyes - Be aware of what you are watching on TV or streaming from the internet. What is the subject matter of the  programmes you watch?  Crime? Nature? Love stores? News? You can control most of the things you come in contact with, ensure that you do not visit a friend at a time when they watch certain programmes that will sadden you. Take control of what is watched in your household, if you find that difficult, tell your teenagers or partner that you would rather not have certain programmes on when you sit down to watch TV. Make arrangements so they watch their programmes in their room or when you are out, sort it out, it can be done. If you must be in the same room, put earphones on, and watch or listen to something you do like.

In my Blogs ‘Negative/Positive, does it matter’ and ‘Perception’ you are asked, how do you view situations you find yourself in? A rule of thumb to keep your Soul happy, is to see positive first, most situations become negative, difficult, or harder than they really are, because of how we view them…..If you lead with, ‘something positive has got to come from this situation’, although the situation appears not to be what you want or need right now, stick with it…….’This is working in my favour’…’This is working in my favour’. You will find that the upset or unwanted situation will work itself out, you will come out the other end….You will get through it…You always do, you are here now…You have been through difficult times and have lived to talk about….You’ll get through this one. In my blog ‘Trying’ I ask, why doesn’t things work out for me? I found that I would put a goal, a time limit on God, to provide what I wanted when I wanted it…. Not a good idea. Look at your current difficult situation and ask yourself…What part did I play to bring about this situation? Whatever it was, remember ‘everything is working in my favour’. Work towards changing your situation. Keeping the Soul happy would not involve crying and screaming over what has happened, having a tantrum or taking it out on another ‘Soul’! What you see or how you see things have a bearing on how you will heel. One cannot help feeling upset or sad in certain situations, but how long you feel that way is up to you.

Ears-What do you pick up from The TV, radio and your social media daily diet? We spoke about the unseen pressures these mediums put on you in ‘Negative /positive does it matter’…..But do you really believe they have any ‘power’ to stress you, or to upset your Soul?

I showed you research by Szabo, A., & Hopkinson, K. L. (2007) Called ‘The Negative psychological effects of watching the news on television’, which suggested that if you watch or listen to 15 minutes of news without relaxing, such as progressive relaxation, after this intake, you are likely to experience mood disturbances. We carry around within us, that sad story we heard on the news or the pictures that flashed before us, courtesy of a ‘friend’ on Facebook, all day. Imagine it’s effect on your mood.

Are you conscious of what you listen to, or hear? Does the news play in the background as you rush around getting ready for work? Is the music coming from your childrens’ devices conductive to their world view of men, women or other cultures? Is it conductive to their growing mind? These are the invisible teachers we have invited into our lives.  Is it keeping your soul happy? Does it make your Soul sing? Silent any negative sounds you allow in your home. You are not being forced to listen to anything that does not please you. Consider the amount of  negative, sometimes destructive sounds you allow in your life. Again take control of what you listen to, what your children, or household listen to. Change it, within a week of cleaning up your listening habits, you will feel the difference.

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Gossip- I must admit, I enjoy hearing a juicy piece of gossip every now and then. I am not interested in showbiz or celebrity gossip. I have listened to family gossip, and the interesting tip bits my children feed me about their siblings. Dr. Robin Dunbar’s thesis in his book ‘Grooming, Gossip, and the Evolution of Language’ is that, gossip is the human version of primate grooming. He goes on to say that that we gossip to strengthen our social status because we can’t groom each other. That may be the case, but in everything we do, it is the intention that is of outer-most importance. What are your intentions when you listen to gossip? (I am sure I will not get many emails answering that question) Consider what you do with the information you receive through listening to gossip. Do you go and tell someone else? What do you gain from that activity? Be honest.

Being told something by one of my children about their sibling gives me the opportunity, if needs be, to subtly bring up the subject in their presence, giving them the opportunity to discuss it with me or at least know that I may be aware and open to any discussions on the subject. My intentions have always been honourable and I am fully aware that the person who the gossip was about, did not come and tell me themselves, so, have their reasons for keeping it from me. But these are my children. What about work colleagues? What are your intentions after hearing that Sharon in accounts,is having an affair with Tom from Marketing? Or that Susan’s husband hits her? Or perhaps James is off with Mental health issues..What do you do with what you have heard. The affair gossip, is juicy and some what voyeuristic in nature. For me, I would wish them well, but hope they have told their partners that they are interacting in this way with someone else, my thoughts will go even further to hope that their partners are not hurting. The other two pieces of gossip will have me wanting to contact Susan and James, I would pry further to find out if they have a support system around them. What about you? What are your intentions when you listen to gossip? Time to be honest now, we are cleaning house! You know what you should do, I really don’t need to tell you, that if your intentions are not to help the ‘victim’ of the gossip, you really shouldn’t be adding to their plight, by 1) Taking pleasure from what you have heard and 2) Doing nothing to help, even if it is in thought alone. Is it possible that the person who told you that piece of gossip, is gossiping about you too!

There should be no need to tell you that, your ears are apart of you, being apart of you means, being apart of your Soul. It cannot make your Soul happy to watch you digest other Souls’ plight or wrong doing? Take care to listen to things that please you and encourage you. In doing so you will have a happier countenance.

I have spoken about what your ears encounter, the control you have on what you choose to listen to and what you should be listening to in order to bring some comfort to your Soul and indubitably to you. But what about what you can do for others? Remember that helping others has the potential to make you and your Soul feel better, as well as the receiver of your kindness. When was the last time, you really listened to a friend? Some of the time we hear what is said, but have not really listened! Spend some time really listening to the person who has sought you out in-order to share something about themselves with you. By doing something as simple as listening can bring comfort to another…I believe that most human beings, at a very basic level just want to be acknowledged, whether it for what we have done, or what we are trying to do, being acknowledged brings with it a sense of worthiness, how lovely to be able to give that to another Soul.

Tongue- In my Blog: Tongue - What damage have you caused? I talk about what we say, not say and the damage it can cause.

Our goal should be to create happiness to the listener. Are you aware of what you say, after you have said it?....Or are you mindful of what you are about to say? Do you listen to yourself? We know that what we say can be used to be kind and not to be cruel, ensure that you choose to only speak kindness and to create happiness and or wisdom to the listener See Ephesians 4:29

There are many verses in the bible that warns against the use of the tongue. Hebrews 4:12 (KJV) states, that the tongue can be powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Proverbs 15:4 also shows how the tongue could crush the spirit (Soul)

Promises are made in 1 Peter 3:10 (KJV) For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.

Proverbs 26:17-28 warns of deceitful lips and Colossians 4:6 states that we should beware of what we say.

I believe what we say, originates in our stomach, (deep down inside you) Hebrews 4:12 (KJV) [The tongue] is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. As I said in my blog (Work place bullying) Some jokes are real thoughts or beliefs on the subject being discussed.

The tongue, like most body parts is controlled by you…No body makes you say a thing…you can and should decide what comes out of your mouth. I grew up with the saying….’I will wash your mouth out with soap’, as well as being physical abuse, it was said as a threat to ensure I did not continue swearing. How can you begin to care for your Soul when you utter dirty or unkind words to another Soul?

It causes your Soul stress when you sprout angry words to another. It would also show that you are unhappy which in-turn makes your Soul unhappy……Consider why you had gotten to that stage? Did you not hear your Soul tell you to, leave that person alone…..You would have saved yourself countless hours of upset if you had listened.

What you do not say is just as important as what you do say. Remaining silent when you should have spoken up, could cause just as much damage as committing the transgression yourself. See Tongue - What damage have you caused

Think before you speak, there is a time to speak and a time to be silent, remember the saying, ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything’.

In Buddhism One of the eight divisions of the path to achieve spiritual enlightenment and cease suffering is Right Speech in which you are to avoid slander, gossip, lying, and all forms of untrue and abusive speech. (The Heart of Buddha's Teaching Ch 12 Right Speech Thich Nhat Hanh 1998) Be nice, only speak after you have thought about what you are about to say.

As in ‘Ear’ above, start listening to yourself? What do you hear when you speak? if what comes out your mouth is pleasing to your ear and to your Soul, then I have nothing more to say, my work here is done…If on the other hand, you, as do I, have a few things to work on, then start to think before you speak.

As mentioned above I feel good, and have a sense of pride when I think of my children and grandson. It would follow that when speaking about them brings me the same joy. This joy is also felt by the Soul…Speak only words that bring you happiness. This happiness or sense of pride can also be felt when you have to reprimand someone, or in a heated discussion. As you speak your mind, you remember that what should be coming out your mouth is, compassion, kindness and love.

Dr. Caroline Leaf who is a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology and specializing in metacognitive and cognitive neuropsychology, sums up how to ensure your Soul continually feels happy in her book ‘The Perfect You’. Dr Leaf states that we are wired for love, and at our roots there are, among others, healthy faith, healthy love, healthy words, healthy actions, healthy thoughts (A lot like Buddhism’s eightfold path wheel). Love, as the trunk that connects the branches, which Dr Leaf calls, the fruits of the spirit (Soul). They are Joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self control and gentleness. According to Dr Leaf, these are the feelings we experience when operating in the ‘Perfect You Zone’. She goes on to say that we are designed for good thinking and good feeling, but when we move out of that way of thinking and feeling we step into a ‘discomfort zone’ which she states is a gift from God, who gives us a lot of physical experiences to help us stay in the ‘Perfect You Zone’, this gift is our intuition or as Leaf puts it, warning signs which are communicated through our body by way of a pounding heart, or sweating palms, getting hot under the collar, a feeling that something isn’t right or a knowing that something is wrong. Staying in the Perfect You Zone is Soul Care.

Soul Care is not about living a life in which you float on air, not experiencing fear, apprehension and worry, it is about living your now life, a different way. Soul Care is about being in tune with yourself, acknowledging that feeling uneasy means something. Our natural habitat, Dr Leaf states, is in the Prefect You Zone. Getting an uneasy feeling, feeling that something is ‘off’ or just ‘knowing’ something is not right means you have stepped into the discomfort Zone, a place where you will continually get physical cues from your intuition that something is about to threaten your happiness. To care for your Soul you need to pick up cues the body sends out and act on them.

Soul care is a continual process to keep our ‘house’ clean. Dust, dirt, and grime accumulate when we don’t keep an eye, ear, tongue etc in check. Blockages under the sink will have you calling a technician to clear it up. In the form of professional help. Learn to be mindful of every interaction. In our quest to stay happy, Buddhist believe we should consider having right intention, right speech, right action, right effort, right concentration, right livelihood and right mindfulness by following the Eightfold path.

We all want and believe it or not, thrive to live a harmonious happy life by digesting the fruits of the spirit. Our aim should be, to remember that we all have the seeds of those fruits already inside us.

The Dark Night of the Soul

4th December 2018

 ‘in secret, when none saw me, Nor I beheld aught, without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart.’ ‘The Dark Night of the Soul’, St John of the Cross

What is The Dark Night of the Soul

What is the Dark Night of the Soul Symptoms?

Difference between depression and Dark Night Of the Soul

What is the Purpose of the Dark Night of the Soul?

Coming out of the Dark Night of The Soul

Where do you go from here?

What is the Dark Night Of The Soul?

“It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness. The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything.” – Eckhart Tolle

The term ‘Dark Night Of The Soul was coined by St John Of the Cross and is one of the Four J’s I will reference in this blog. St John of the Cross (1545 – 1591) was born Juan de Yepes y Álvarez in Spain and entered the Carmelite Order as a young man. He attempted to reform the order and pledged himself to a more stringently monastic and studious life than Carmelites then practiced. Arrested, imprisoned, and tortured for his beliefs by his fellow monks, John underwent a spiritual awakening while captive and wrote 'Ascent of Mount Carmel', 'Dark Night of the Soul', and 'A Spiritual Canticle of the Soul and the Bridegroom of Christ'.

Eckhart Tolle explains that the Dark Night of the Soul is a spiritual depression, a kind of existential crisis, that requires a deep and painful dip that must be experienced before enlightenment. A Spiritual depression or detox that someone has to go through to “wake up.” But if you’re experiencing it and don’t know what’s happening, it can be really scary. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps. Tolle feels it is a collapse of the whole conceptual framework for your life, the meaning that your mind had given it. [Resulting] in a dark place.

The dark night of the soul, has one becoming alone, very alone. There is a sense of utter helplessness, one concerns themselves with themselves. It is a time when one delves deep deep down into their inner being and view their worth to the world. There is no talk of what or where they should be at this time in their lives. It’s more of why am I here. There is no talk of ‘If only I did this or I had that’. The dark night of the soul is a deep soul searching week, month or as some have described, years. I will alert you to the symptoms and aid you, as some of you will be about to or have traveled this lonely path. The dark night of the soul is likened to depression and as a psychologist, I can tell you it’s similar, but different. I will remind you of some of the people who had gone through the dark night of the soul and why I believe they had to take that journey. Much has been written on this subject and often from a spiritual standpoint, stating that one goes through the dark night of the soul, to emerge purified. I am not sure I agree, what I do know is, after going through the dark night of the soul, one has a very different view of their life. We will look at the purpose for the dark night of the soul and what it is like coming out of such a soul upheaval. Then having been there and done that, where do we go from there? My aim is to shed some light on moving forward. I will reference four ‘J’s in this blog. Before I get started I will give you their names, go check them out so you will be familiar with them. The first is St John of the Cross (1577 -1591) then from the bible there is Job, Jonah and Jesus.

What are the Dark Night of the Soul Symptoms?

Before the dark night of the soul, many tend to be getting on with their lives, some just trudging along, wanting ‘better’ things for themselves, but pushing that thought to the background, however they would find that it just keep surfacing. Throughout the research complied for this blog, I found that, on the ‘eve’ of the dark night of the soul  many people have been looking for 'something more' whether it is spiritual or otherwise. Many begin to realise that ‘there has got to be more to life’ than their life has produced. You begin to ‘purge’. This could be friends, social media intake and a yearning for healthier foods, you may start to de-clutter your home. You may begin to revaluate your life, deciding what should stay and what you will no longer interact with or part take in. (Yes this can be anything or anyone)!  You may experience intense memories and dreams, this may be of issues that you felt were healed, only to keep remerging, they may be childhood experiences, teenage trauma or adult insights that has surfaced to be forgiven, healed or confronted.

This is a time of great confusion as you believe that you have your life together or as some say, they are on their right path, yet you begin to get these unsettling feelings about your life. As you begin to question your idea of ‘success’ and may revisit your passion.

You may find that at this time, you experience many coincidences, they say that there is no such thing as coincidences, as there are so many right now, you begin to wonder if the saying is true, as there has got to be something ‘else’ going on. If this is you right now, it is best to heed the messages that are trying to grab your attention.

 The Pain

The dark night of the soul is alike a child being born. You are in a warm comforting environment….then there is movement, something happens to begin to shake the world you live in…. The dark night of the soul is literately the birth cannel, you are pushed there not knowing what is happening, where you are going or how this is going to end. We try to hold on to what we know, only to find what we knew, has expelled us.

The saying goes, ‘There is always light at the end of the tunnel,’ when you are going through the dark night of the soul, you don’t see the tunnel let alone any light. Because you are deep in the inner cave, which is blocked off from the outside world. No one would hear you scream ‘help’. In fact you are silent, you do not want anything from the outside, as nothing out there can help. Help can only come from within,  your God, your inner self, your core self. You begin to believe that your God, your inner self, that place you would normally go to for peace, has abandoned you.

I remember coming to the realisation or felt that everything I believed to be true about my life was not true....there was a feeling of being completely and utterly stripped of all my beliefs in God, and all that had been promised. I felt that all I had known to be true, all that had been proved to be true, was false. I felt bare and vulnerable. I felt like I was looking around, naked wondering what to do. My achievements, status, family did not matter or were even considered while in my dark night. Then it got painful.

St John Of The Cross (chapter VI) gives ‘A description of this suffering and pain, although in truth it transcends all description, is given by David, when he says: ‘The lamentations of death compassed me about; the pains of hell surrounded me; I cried in my tribulation. But what the sorrowful soul feels most in this condition is its clear perception, as it thinks, that God has abandoned it, and, in His abhorrence of it, has flung it into darkness; it is a grave and piteous grief for it to believe that God has forsaken it.

Mateo Sol (The lonerwolf) also describes the pain well, when he states

You feel an acute sense of unworthiness

You have the constant feeling of being lost or “condemned” to a life of suffering or emptiness

You [experience] a painful feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness

Your will and self-control is weakened, making it difficult for you to act

You lack interest and find no joy in things that once excited you.

[There is] a longing for a distant place or to “return home” again. I would add, the pain associated with feelings of utter loneliness.

Author Alex Myles,' describes the dark night of the soul as [reaching a] 'point after a period of spiritual growth or a phase where everything we once thought was true and secure shatters. We have no choice but to finally admit we are lost. We are then handed a mirror so that we can take a long, hard, and difficult look at ourselves while we watch our reflection crumble. We are at the extreme end of darkness, and we look at everything that brought us to this place and stand in utter desperation and self-pity'.

For Eckhart Tolle, the dark night of the soul description is voiced in 'The power of now’ when he says “I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute dread. I had woken up with such a feeling many times before, but this time it was more intense than it had ever been.[ ]  everything felt so alien, so hostile, and so utterly meaningless that it created in me a deep loathing of the world. The most loathsome thing of all, however, was my own existence. What was the point in continuing to live with this burden of misery? Why carry on with this continuous struggle? I could feel that a deep longing for annihilation, for nonexistence, was now becoming much stronger than the instinctive desire to continue to live. I cannot live with myself any longer."

Luminita, the Founder of PurposeFairy, writes- What I’ve seen there, what I felt… The pain, the excruciating pain that comes from feeling separated from your own Soul, from your own Self, and from God… that is the deepest pain of all. A pain I have never felt in my whole life. I felt abandoned, lost, fearful and all alone. I felt a loneliness so deep that it pierced my heart and it shook my whole world. It was a pain so deep and a darkness so profound… And from that place, I knew no human trick and no human power was capable of saving me from that place. And I knew only God could take me back to the Light.

I believe that some of the pain we feel as we go through the dark night of the soul is the pain of the ego leaving. Don't worry we pick it up on the way out of the darkness . The ego gives us a sense of who we are and how others perceive us. Remember parts of us only exist through the eyes of others. The world sees me as Female, Middle aged, Black, a Mother, an Author, a Psychologist and so on. Stanislav Grof a Czech psychiatrist and one of the founders of the field of transpersonal psychology wrote, “Ego death means an irreversible end to one’s philosophical identification.

Now take away all those titles…who am I? or what am I ? Do I still exist? These are the questions you quickly ask yourself while in the dark night of the soul and quickly get the reply…You are none of those labels, you stand here as a being to be subjected to a reflection of your untitled self, scary, painful, it is tormenting.  Gary Z McGee explains it as ‘your sense of reality, or worldview, has been shattered. You have come to understand the illusory aspects of the ego. You are experiencing a re-organization, a re-identification, and a reinterpretation of the boundaries between self and cosmos.’

Not being able to hold on to your own identity, something you felt you owned outright. For me explains the naked, vulnerable feeling associated with being in the dark night of the soul. It also explains the utter loneliness one experience as you don’t even have the ‘self’ you knew to aid you. You feel that you are in a space that no one else can enter. Consider this, if anyone else ‘got in’ would they even recognise you? On the dark night of the soul journey you realise that you are going to have to claw yourself clear of this highly emotional charged environment, that in itself is enough to cause severe depression, but as you will find, the dark night of the soul and depression have their differences.

Difference between depression and dark night of the soul

As a psychologist and someone who has entered the dark night of the soul more than once. My take on the difference is, Depression has you voicing (albeit in your head) purely negative self talk, full of ego content. You know what needs to be done, you have the answers or believe you have the answers to end this pain. Whereas during the dark night of the soul, one comes to the realisation that ALL you believed about yourself, about your being, about your life and reason for being here, is false. Throughout the dark night of the soul, you know there is nowhere out, however, deep down you know there has to be a purpose for this pain. As mentioned above, you stand alone with no trappings of the ego self, you stand bare….and then comes the pain, as you try to make sense of your whole being with no reference point, you have nothing to hold on to. You are in an abyss, begging your creator for answers.

Kevin Culligan, OCD, a psychologist and the former chair of the Institute of Carmelite Studies, explains that a clinically depressed person has a loss of energy and pleasure in most things, including hobbies and sex. He will sometimes exhibit a dysphoric mood (think Eeyore) or psychomotor retardation. The person in the midst of a dark night experiences loss, too, but more as a loss of pleasure in the things of God. I would add perhaps, in all that s/he believed to be true about their creator.

Gerald May, MD, a retired psychiatrist and Senior Fellow in Contemplative Theology and Psychology, discusses both in his book, ‘The Dark Night of the Soul’.  While a person in the midst of a dark night of the soul knows, on some level, there is a purpose to the pain, the depressed person is embittered and wants to be relieved immediately.

Therese Borchard is the founder of Project Beyond Blue, an online community for people with chronic depression, anxiety and states “In the dark night of spirit, there is painful awareness of one’s own incompleteness and imperfection in relation to God; however, one seldom utters morbid statements of abnormal guilt, self-loathing, worthlessness, and suicidal ideation that accompany serious depressive episodes. Thoughts of death do indeed occur in the dark night of the spirit, such as ‘death alone will free me from the pain of what I now see in myself,’ or ‘I long to die and be finished with life in this world so that I can be with God,’ but there is not the obsession with suicide or the intention to destroy oneself that is typical of depression. 

There is a fight that occurs during the dark night of the soul, that does not happen during depressive episodes. During the dark night of the soul one wrestles with the notion of what appears to be false in their lives, during depression one fights with what they believe to be true. Rashanth Hirematada, Author of LAMP (Living Awareness Meditation & Practice) -Depression is the indulgence that, YOU ARE, … sad, lonely, loser, downer. Dark Night of the Soul is a great realisation that YOU ARE NOT, you are not all that. Depression is continual identification of yourself with a mind concept… Dark Night of the Soul is withering away of that identification.

Depression - it seems all true. The, ‘I don’t have this, I won’t have that, people are thinking this or that about me’.

Dark Night of the Soul - it all seems false. That ‘self’ that I knew is not true.

Depression – Descending. That sinking feeling of going further and further down that slippery slop of self deprivation.

Dark Night of the Soul- Ascending. A feeling of growing spiritually. You must be growing as you have never had these spiritually in-dept thoughts before.

Emily Stimpson from her article in OSV newsweekly 'Understanding the dark night of the soul’ claims that the feeling of spiritual emptiness, or being abandoned by God, is natural in the process of growing closer to Christ. [ ] clinical depression is triggered by an objectively sad event (losing a loved one, fatal illness, etc.) or by a biochemical problem, the dark night of the soul is purely an act of God; it is God working in our souls to draw us closer to him. Likewise, while depression weighs down both body and soul, eventually rendering those who suffer from it unable to go about the normal business of their life, throughout the dark night, and those suffering through it can perform great works of charity and service. They remain active and don’t experience the same temptations to total self-loathing or suicide that those struggling with depression suffer, nor do they [entirely] lose their faith in the midst of the dark night. Belief remains. I would add that, like a child, although they may be scolded by a parent, they return to the said parent for relief of the pain and upset they feel.

We see that no amount of anti-depressants can free you from the dark night of the soul, there is a realisation that it is something that has to be ‘seen’ through, which is the only way to reach the ‘other-side’. Living through it enables you to look back and answer the question ‘what was all that about’? and ‘why the **** did I have to go though it ’? You may find the answers in ‘What is the purpose of the dark night of the soul’.


This blog has concerned itself with: 

What is The Dark Night of the Soul

What is the Dark Night of the Soul Symptoms?

Difference between depression and Dark Night Of the Soul

What is the Purpose of the Dark Night of the Soul?

Coming out of the dark Night of The Soul

Where do you go from here?

In asking the question what is The Dark Night of the Soul?  we found that the term was coined by St John Of the Cross (1545 – 1591) and a book which was written while in captive by his fellow monks. Eckhart Tolle feels the dark night of the soul is the 'collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness.'

The Dark Night of the Soul Symptoms were discussed during the ‘eve’ of the Dark night of the soul, which does not announce itself and reaches some who feel that they are going in the ‘right’ direction for their lives…Others may find their selves at ‘rock bottom’. Many come to the realisation that something is missing from their life. Many know or feel that there has got to be more to life than the one they have been living. Before the dark night of the Soul comes to visit, you begin to purge, it is as if you are getting ready, you begin to clean up your social media intake, you may decide to look into better eating habits and you clean house, in the form of de-cluttering your house and your life. Then comes the vivid dreams, and long time buried memories. Coincidences pop up in your life, causing you to wonder if ‘something else’ is going on!

As you enter the dark night of soul, wondering what is going on, as a survival mechanism you try to hold on to what you feel will give you comfort…yourself. This is when you begin to feel the pain as Myles, describes you are handed a mirror so that we can take a long, hard, and difficult look at ourselves while we watch our reflection crumble. You feel unworthy, lost or condemned, powerlessness and hopelessness, utter loneliness surrounds you. We realised that there was a difference between depression and Dark Night of the Soul noting that Jonah wanted to be thrown over board as the pain was so severe, Job cursed the very day he was born and Jesus contracted Hematohidrosis. The pain of the dark night of the soul is enough to cause an acute depressive episode, but what you will find, is the dark night of the soul is similar but not the same. As depression has a descending sinking feeling in which your negative self talk tells you things it believes to be true, whereas the Dark Night of the Soul is ascending as you grow spiritually. Everything you believed to be true, appears false, even the ‘self’ you thought you knew appears false as the ego is stripped from you. Why? you may ask, what is the purpose of this emotional turmoil?

This blog contains three other Sub-headings:

What is the Purpose of the Dark Night of the Soul?

Coming out of the Dark Night of the Soul

Where do you go from here?

Which can be found in my New book 'The Exhorted Soul'. Knowing the reason we go through the Dark Night of the Soul, gives us meaning to our lives and why we are here. To come out the other end and talk about it, is a privilege (believe it or not). You feel like the saying 'I lived to tell the tale'. What you see when you arrive on the other side of the darkness will astound you...After which you ask yourself, 'where do I go from here?'As I mention in the book, my research into ‘After enlightenment and the Dark Night Of The Soul’ has not satisfactory answered this question for me.  However I have noted that you get another shot at life, without tints on your glasses.

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I believe that if everyone did what they were passionate about the world would be a better place. Sharing LOVE can change our world. In my  LOVE ONLY  fb group you will receive a little LOVE and hopefully leave some behind. Look forward to seeing you there.

Collect your LOVE ONLY stone for £9.99 each

To get your Today


The Marble Heart Shaped LOVE ONLY Stone is approx 4 x 4cm Each LOVE ONLY Stone from The Love live holistically Collection is made from natural stone. 

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Each Stonehas been cut into a heart shape and polished to give a smooth surface. 

Collect your LOVE ONLY Stone HERE


 FREE e-Books+ Audios

Don't forget to pick up your free copy of Find and Follow your Passion below

 Iyanla Vanzant gives us Forgiveness


 The book that changed my life. The Game Of Life.

Listen to Zig Ziglar 'See you at the top'

                                     Or        Check out Les Brown

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer’s Podcast

101 Ways to Transform Your Life, by Dr. Wayne Dyer. 

As A Man Thinketh James Allen Full Audio Book

Check out Abraham Hicks  'The Vortex'

Justin from YouAreCreators, gives us an insight into 'The Law of Attraction'

Find the 15 secrets Deepak Chopra has to  offer.                

More Deepak Chopra.Check out another great book and or the audio.

CHECK OUT 'e-bookspage' for more titles