Self=You
In order to be SELF you need a thinking mind, a mind that holds your experiences and emotions, your conscious mind.
In order to be SELF you need a body. Most would say, you need your body in-order to make use of your five senses- Smell, touch, hearing, seeing and taste. Not true, if you didn’t have one, two or any of these senses you would still be you, just without the ability to use these senses.
So to be self, a mind + body is needed.
MIND+BODY =SELF
Having established that the self is consciousness or your mind. Also that the body – Whether that is a tall, short, thin, over weight or under weight (according to the BMI Calculator), able-bodied or one with a physical disability, male or female leads us to the conclusion that the self is YOU. So SELF = YOU
Now, that is YOU without the labels that you and others have attached . Just the SELF that equals YOU.
Not the you, that your friends and family members know.
Not the you, your work colleagues know.
Not the you the shop keeper or coffee shop cashier knows.
Not even the you, your parents know.
This you is SELF = YOU. Stay with that thought for a moment. I tried to get you to stand alone in the ‘What's in your Bubble’ when I asked you to stand outside your bubble filled with all the things you think about each day, but some of you found it a little scary, standing there without the label of friend, parent, sibling and work colleague. Now you’ve graduated with the ability to do just that as you have come to the realisation that SELF =YOU
You, the self, has many different selves. As you go through your day, you morph into a different you. Lets start with the morning you. Some of you are jolly and talkative, some of you are quiet and resevered. I am the quiet type. It takes at least an hour for my face to adjust and look somewhat ‘normal’. Some of us even have a morning voice, which disappears after we have brushed our teeth and had a hot beverage. How you are in the morning? You are certainty not the same you when you leave the house.
Different you’s emerge as you encounter different situations throughout the day. I use to travel on the London underground to get to work, often the platform would be packed with people. One had to morph into a ruby player if you wanted a seat on the train, especially if you had a child with you.
Depending on whether you encountered anyone you know on the way to work, you then morph into work you. For me that was to give my best regardless of what was going on, be fair, approachable, professional at all times becoming firm should the occasion arise. What are you like at work? Depending on who you encounter in your lunch break, you stay as work you until you arrive back home.Then the home you emerges. For some of us even a different language is spoken. The home you may have other labels attached, this could be parent, career, spouse/partner all forcing you to fulfill these roles. At this point the SELF=YOU that we talked about at the beginning of this blog is deep deep inside you, there is no light where that you is. But we will get back to that you in a little while. To continue your evening at home, the kids are fed, bathed and put to bed. It is here a tried different you emerges, you still carry your labels but you can relax a little. Depending on your household dynamics, this may be a relaxed you. A you that may take a bath, relax with a glass of wine, watch your favourite TV programme or do whatever calms you. You go to bed and it’s morning you again.
Lets add the you, you become when you are out with your work mates, friends or family members. Depending on which set of friends or family members you are out with, will determine which you you take out.
I have counted 7 different you’s so far:
1) YOU – Is SELF=YOU
2) YOU – Morning you
3) YOU – Leave house you
4) YOU – At work you
5) YOU – Back at home you
6) YOU – Relaxed you
7) YOU – Out with friends and family you
Wow that is seven different types of you, some with labels attached, some like the morning you that even displays a different face !
Deepak Chopra states in his ‘Book of Secrets’ (2004)
‘When you go home for Thanksgiving, you probably find yourself falling automatically into the role of the child you once were. At work, you play a different role than when you go on vacation. Our minds are so good at storing totally conflicting roles that even small children know how to switch smoothly from one to the other. When candid cameras are set up to catch three-year-old's at play without adults around, parents are often shocked by the transformations they see before their eyes: The sweet, obedient, conciliatory child they knew at home can turn into a raging bully ‘He goes on to say that ‘The real you is detached from any role, any scenery [or] any drama’.
Do you ever seek number one SELF=YOU in all that noise of the different you’s running around? For those of you that meditate, you regularly seek number one SELF=YOU. Have you considered looking for number one SELF=YOU? You can only find SELF=YOU by quieting and throwing off the labels attached to you.
Labels you give yourself
Labels society has given you
Labels your friends and family have given you. For a few minutes...If you can.....Find SELF=YOU.
To help, this is what you do.
Sit in a quiet room, with no distractions try and block out the noise of your environment. Next doors telly, the dog down the road, the sounds of cars driving by and perhaps concentrate on your breathing. Breath in............ Breath out Do this 15 times – trying to concentrate on the sound of your breath.
After this, just be – sitting still and quieting the world around you.
In doing that exercise, you are throwing off the labels that are attached to you and for the 10 minutes you take to quiet yourself, you are being =YOU.
I can no longer consider living in an environment that forces me to wear my labels all the time. When was the last time you took off all your labels?
As parents we will be parents until we die. That is one label I gladly wear. I wear it with Honor, pride and gratitude. However if going out with friends or family is the only time, you leave that label on the kitchen table before you leave the house on a night out, you are doing yourself a dis-service. I believe that I can be the best mum I can be if I am allowed to be me or SELF every now and then. I say this after coming off the phone with one of my children, who felt I could keep her company for 35 minutes while she wait for a bus to arrive. All the labels we have attached to ourselves, can easily take over our lives if we don’t stop for a minute and find SELF = YOU
For some, being in a room with just self, having taken off all the labels, will be uncomfortable, it may feel as though you are being striped bare, especially if you have never considered this concept, but rest assured it will get easier to do if done regularly. Some may realize that they are all the labels attached to them, and cannot consider being without them, even for 10 minutes. Others may find it hard to take off certain labels believing that LABEL + SELF = YOU
Some may not like the SELF =YOU that emerges once quiet, and would rather wear some or all the labels attached.
Check Out Part Two
